A Little Something on Dreams

dreams redhead writingFor all the suck it up I shell out here on Redhead Writing, there’s a Softer Side of Sears. Namely, that’s me. I’m a sap. A certifiable cry at chick flicks, sob when I watch Field of Dreams…well, I’m a crier. Last night was no exception.

My Twitter audience came through with flying colors as I requested that someone pass on my phone number to Colin Firth. Upon hearing he was married, Doyle Albee started a pool to see if I could take his wife in a cage match (and in true friend fashion, he cut me in on 1/2 the action). This didn’t make me cry. It just reminded me that on occasion, I have deluded fantasies that involve incredibly talented and handsome men. Anywhoo…while the Oscars broadcast sucked 83 different kinds of walrus ass this year, there were a few things that made me choke up and on two occasions, let the tears roll:

  • Eli Wallach, when he said he didn’t act to live…he lived to act. The little guy stole my heart in The Holiday and I’ve yet to get it back. A prophetic film for him, it turns out. (sobber #1)
  • Tom Hooper, director of The King’s Speech (my no-contest, I will arm wrestle you without jello pick for Best Movie), when he added the creamiest cherry on top of any acceptance speech. He shared the story of how his mother found the script for the film…and how it was a lesson to listen to your mother.
  • The moment I realized that not only was Trent Reznor nominated for an Oscar for Best Score, but that one of the quirkier, obscure musical talents of my formative years could walk the red carpet and grab a statue. From Nine Inch Nails to Oscar Winner…hope for every goth kid on the planet who’s been told that weird gets you nowhere. Fuck. You.
  • The closing number where “Over the Rainbow” (video) was sung by a cherubic herd from Long Island’s PS 22. I’m pretty sure that if that song became the official song of the United Nations, we’d have a lot less inhuman bullshit in this world. (sobber #2)

And so whether you care about Hollywood, panned the Oscars universally or are just someone who clicked on the link to this post from wherever, I want to take a minute to talk about dreams.

Dreams are what should be fueling your business. Your business shouldn’t be killing them. If you can’t wake up each and every day and find your dreams by your side, it’s time to get a new mattress. Dreams should rock you to sleep at night and fuel you for the day ahead. They’re what we hold onto when life kicks us in the nads and steals our lunch money. When we have bad dreams, that’s a pretty good indication that we’ve lost sight of the ones that matter and we need to go find them again.

If you’re not waking up in the morning to see how your dreams play out, you’re doing it wrong. Most of us will never win awards or walk a red carpet for what we do each day. But as you go into your Monday, I’ll send you along with a list I use for myself to make sure that I’m not killing my dreams and letting the voices of the naysayers kill what’s most precious to me. Sure, your list might be different, but the point is: have a list.

  • If I find that no one is disagreeing with me, I need a new audience. And more importantly, new friends.
  • I’m never too old to skip down the street.
  • Poop jokes will always be funny.
  • If someone feels I don’t have value or doesn’t want to hire me because of my personality, my ink, my hair, my tits, my unabashed passion, my t-shirts with questionable sayings, my political views or the fact that I thing pink is the best color on the planet – it’s their loss.
  • My mother’s smarter than I am and always will be and I should ask her for advice more often.
  • It’s okay to cry.
  • I’m the most important priority in my life, and if I forget that, it’s everyone else who pays the price.
  • At 38, I think pigtails are the best hairstyle ever.
  • I love who I am, I love what I do…and if that ever fails to show, I’ve gone and achieved another GFU and have some work to do.

Carry on smartly. In pigtails. While skipping.

33 replies
  1. Cortney Jacobs
    Cortney Jacobs says:

    just for you:

    Bernie goes to a grocery store. He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out. The Manager gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy cannot have a cat and will probably feed cat food to his kids. He asks Bernie to show him his cat before he could let him have cat food. Bernie goes home and returns with a cat and gets to buy the cat food.
    Next week Bernie finds dog food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of dog food and goes to check out. The Manager again gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy has a cat but he cannot have a dog and he will probably feed dog-food to his kids. He asks Bernie to bring and show him the dog before he can let him have dog food. Bernie goes home and returns with a dog. He gets to buy the dog food.

    Next week Bernie comes to the grocery store with a bag. He asks the manager to put his hand in the bag. The Manager puts his hand in the bag and immediately takes it out. He shouts at Bhola: “What! There’s nothing but doodie in this bag!”

    Bernie calmly replies: “Yes, and I want toilet paper”

  2. Brian
    Brian says:

    Wow amazing how you start with the Oscar’s, and finish with your joyous personal manifesto! You girl to borrow from one of my favorite sports writers Jason Whitlock; are “Getting the damn thing done.” Great writing

  3. PJ Mullen
    PJ Mullen says:

    Well, you learn something new everyday. I had no idea there were 83 different kinds of walrus ass. Dreams are great as long as you’re not dreaming that you’re Charlie Sheen and your parents are so embarrassed that they’ve changed their name back to Estevez. And I disagree with you that poop jokes are always funny. I guess I’m lame like that.

  4. D.T. Pennington
    D.T. Pennington says:

    I find that my dreams are what keeps me from sleeping. When I get thinking about them my first reaction is usually “Sleep is such a waaaaaste” and then I want to get right into something.

    Unless, of course, it was last night. Last night I dreamt I was Donnie Iris. It was kind of horrifying.

  5. Lorna
    Lorna says:

    ‘If you can’t wake up each and every day and find your dreams by your side, it’s time to get a new mattress.’ <— my new favourite quote! Thank you!

  6. Jasmine, Eatmovewrite.com
    Jasmine, Eatmovewrite.com says:

    Re: People agreeing…I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes it’s hard not to apologize for trying to be unapologetically yourself. Because, dammit, feelings get hurt when people don’t “get it.”

    And, you’re right, dreams have to fuel everything. I hear people all the time doing things just because it “makes sense” or will pay well. What the hell? Is that what you want people to say at your funeral? “Her life made sense.” I want people to say, she chased her dreams all the way to the grave and we admire her for it!

  7. BibliophileGirl
    BibliophileGirl says:

    Awesome post, as always. I’m working on getting my dreams to be by my side instead of strolling twenty feet behind me. At least I have an end-date for the “day job” and am knee-deep in re-creating a blog that I love to do but have never had the consistent time for. Every day, I get a little step closer to the life I want to have.

    While I tend to disagree that poop jokes are always funny…I will say that they are *often* funny. I always endorse skipping. It can actually make you feel happier when you’re not all that happy.

  8. Cherry Woodburn
    Cherry Woodburn says:

    I’m a crier, cry-er, cryer too. I didn’t watch the Oscars but I know that PS 22 or any # singing Over The Rainbow would have made me cry. And thank you for the Tom Hopper story/quote, I’m sending it to both my sons. Hugs to you and your dreams Reds, Cherry

  9. John Trader
    John Trader says:

    Coolest thing about the Oscars – seeing Eli Wallach and having a flashback to his role as Tuco in “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly” and the scene when he punches his brother the priest. What a bad ass.

    Worst thing about the Oscars – no performance by the Black Eyed Peas? It’s not as if they don’t perform at every other major awards show, sporting event and Skateland pizza party. Getting a wee bit tired of Fergie’s 9 inch nails (blatant Trent Reznor reference, who by the way is like a sugar coated lollipop of awesome.)

    Your friend in poop jokes,


  10. Trudy
    Trudy says:

    Brilliant. I especially love the 3rd item. In my industry, a lot of people are afraid to voice opinions, share ideas or tweet anything but photography out of fear a client “might” see and “might” not want to hire them. I feel that is their loss then. Being photographed is an emotional experience, capturing emotion in the form of still or video, so that that emotion and look is remembered later. It takes an emotional and logical being to create it, so why do we have to deny huge parts of ourselves to “hope” someone will hire us? It’s madness to me. If someone doesn’t want to hire me for who I am or who I voted for or my favorite color or because I like cupcakes, so be it. I cannot deny myself from being a full being whether offline or online and no one should have to.

    Love your blog and tweets. Good stuff.

    • The Redhead
      The Redhead says:

      Thanks, Trudy! And I think that’s true in a lot of businesses. I lose business every day, and for that, I’m glad. More people should be glad to lose business – because when you do, one of two things happens: you realize you didn’t want it or they’ll be back when someone else effs it up. Either way, epic win.

  11. Nancyswriting
    Nancyswriting says:

    You are making me (a fellow crier) weep! A) Your whole paragraph about dreams is going on my fridge and my bathroom mirror and may end up tattooed on my wrist. (yeah, I’ll quote ya) I soooo needed that right now. I quite my part time job real-world today to return to the freelance writing biz so I can keep fueling this crazy dream. B) Ditto everything you said about Eli Wallach. Thanks Erika! Keep the bitch slaps and the dirty tee-shirts coming!

  12. Lissa Duty
    Lissa Duty says:

    Erika, I really needed to read your bulletted list this morning. I didn’t get a chance to yesterday, but I am glad it worked out that way. I really needed to read the list this morning. Since I was dumped Saturday (the day after my birthday) by a guy the GFU was perfect for me! Thanks! I am going to hang on to that and think of him everytime I start feel sorry for myself about being alone AGAIN! LOL!

  13. Mars Dorian
    Mars Dorian says:

    hey redhead,

    cool article !
    “If you can’t wake up each and every day and find your dreams by your side, it’s time to get a new mattress.”
    Smiled at this one – it’s true. Who cares if you walk the red carpet or not ?
    The most epic feeling dreams can be the little ones you have for yourself – it’s ESSENTIAL to strive for your heart’s desire. If you rape it by ignoring it, you will produce pure shit anyways !

    PS – I LUV your branding, BOTH the visual and the content style – it’s soo compelling !!

  14. Leon Noone
    Leon Noone says:

    G’Day Erika,
    I dream of a newly elected US President quoting me in his/her Inaugural Address That was the honour accorded Dorothy Fields by President Obama. He said that Americans should “pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off etc.” Theses are the very words that Dorothy Fields wrote for Fred and Ginger to sing in “Swing Time” in 1936.

    I’m sure that Dorothy never imagined that her words would not only survive into the 21st Century but also be used by a newly elected American President .

    Dare to dream and all that!



  15. Bree Ervin
    Bree Ervin says:

    Absolutely love it. Of course it helps that my husband is sporting phenomenal pig tails at the moment, while skipping.

    And speaking of dreams and mothers – my mom’s best quote is “Dream big. If you don’t have dreams you have nightmares.” So very true.
    Here’s to big dreams!


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