A New Leaf: The Redhead Goes Straight

Image courtesy of wandee007 at FreeDigitalPhotos.netI’ve gotten a fair amount of shit lately for my uproarious tone, blue language and apparent irreverence towards the goodness inherent in human nature. It’s led me to thinking: why am I such an asshole?

Last Sunday, I went to church. (Yes, The Redhead went to church – fuck off.) I’ve been searching for awhile for answers that that elude me on this terra firma I walk daily and figured that I was due for my own little personal “Come to Jesus” moment. Big believer in those moments in life, I am. They shake foundations and realign thought processes like only the most almighty of bitch slaps can.

While it’s taken me three days since to let it all settle in – I came to a realization over the past few days:

It’s possible to rant without being an ass.

I don’t need to call people “motherfuckers” and make allusions to Deadwood and the ripe language that litters their scripts.

I don’t need to listen to celebrity shenanigans and waste my time (or yours) with diatribes on their behavior.

YOU sure as hell don’t need to hear me pontificate on the grammar-challenged populous that riddles the online dating world.

So I’m turning over a new leaf. In my own little Redhead Redemption, I’m going straight. Having toddled and torn down the crooked path for so long, I’m wondering what life and writing will be like with a bit more sugar and a lot fewer bees.

Hope you decide to hang around for the ride.

So I’m asking my readers to complete a poll: STRAIGHT OR CROOKED? You read me for a reason and I need to know.

Click HERE to take the poll. Your feedback is, indeed, appreciated.

23 comments
Bake My Fish
Bake My Fish

Motherfucker is a fine descriptive word. You can say it to most anyone and piss them off or get their attention. "Hey you, Motherfucker! Over here!" See? It gets their attention and makes them think. Or they hate you for it. Either way, fuck them. Personally I like the ranting. Deadwood references are good. I love Deadwood. Which ever way you decide to go, I'll still read your stuff, because it's always good. Nothing wrong with good writing; evil, ranting bitch or kind, Haloed nicey nice. You decide. Just write.

matty
matty

Sure, profane ranting isn't "necessary," but I only object to the self-defeating kind -- a diatribe that directs my attention to something only to tell me not to pay attention to it. Positive rants, rants that persuade the reader to change his mind or his actions, no matter how inane or obscure the topic, are a public service. Most people swallow their indignation and ignore these peccadilloes, so speaking up is a small contribution to the fight against "the soft bigotry of low expectations." I'm not inviting you to waste my time, but -- much like the fateful preacher of last Sunday -- you've got a voice and an audience and something to say. Don't waste it. Not everyone will take it to heart, but you might just inspire someone to turn over a new leaf. Motherfucker.

Fascinated
Fascinated

You know the rules and so do I. You wouldnt get this from any other guy: Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Kevin
Kevin

What's a church?

Rick Ramos
Rick Ramos

You didn't fool me for a second.

Jenn Fields
Jenn Fields

April Fool's or no, I would encourage you to be even more crooked. PS, the church part is what tipped me off. Why would you go to church on a Sunday when you could take your shiny new bicycle out for a long ride and curse the Sunday drivers along the way?

jodiontheweb
jodiontheweb

Yours was the only April Fool's joke I fell for all day. Damn you Redhead!!!

DaveMurr
DaveMurr

I think its safe to say that you and I have become friends through this social media/digital madness. What attracted me to you wasn't what you said but who you were/are. That shines through with the most prevalent of personalities. So regardless if you continue to rant, rave and swear up a storm OR preach Jesus, I'll still be around! :)

Hirvimaki
Hirvimaki

I do love evil. And happily you are a lawful evil. (And the cruel is pretty fucking funny, too!)

The Head Redhead
The Head Redhead

For all of you who left comments here in earnest...Please see Ben Willis' second comment above. *snicker* Erika - The Head Redhead

Mike Roe
Mike Roe

No, you don't need to call people "motherfuckers." But, I need you to!

E2
E2

I need it all E1. The good, the bad, the straight and the crooked....all that rolled into a nice tight little dress with your heels on! You write what you feel and let it flow. xoxoxo

QuinnCreative
QuinnCreative

Be who you need to be. Touchy clients who flinch at "hell?" Tone it down. Don't give a rip about your clients? Fly your freak flag. Really young, and might regret what you wrote in five years when the intertubes are still full of your blue ass-hat behavior? Something to think about. But asking Tweeple to determine who you are? Worthless.

Amy
Amy

You are really good at the Crooked...go Straight. I think you are probably really good at that too. Change it up, it takes many voices to be heard.

Matt
Matt

I blame Colorado for doing this to you.

Matthew Stevens
Matthew Stevens

Admittedly crooked sounds like more fun and perhaps more interesting but if its not working for you, do what does work for you.

Ben Wills
Ben Wills

I just clicked the poll link. I hate you.

Ben Wills
Ben Wills

Straight or Crooked? It doesn't matter so long as your candor remains.

erik boles
erik boles

first. I have spent 17 years in technology, a lot of that with a strong emphasis on security. Even had you obfuscated that URL, I wouldn't have fallen. Secondly: I know that you know that i know that you know the value of genuinality on the internets, and cleaning up your act might temporarily increase page views, but that would quickly decline because one of the many elements we all long for in your posts would be gone. We have a few requests from time to time to clean up our shows on BeerTap.tv, and we tried once...it was no fun for any of us. So, I say, keep it genuine my friend. Filthy, fucking, genuine. E

Ewok
Ewok

best of luck - I'll stick around - :-)

Matt
Matt

Personally, I like the ranting.