Yesterday, I woke at 5AM to prep for the day’s events: I moved to Boulder. The entire process – packing up my life, yet again (the 4th time in only 3.5 years) has been nothing short of cathartic. I’m a single 39-year-old woman who still seems to fill a 16 foot moving truck, and that’s after donating five (and half) Honda CRVs full of assorted and sundry shit to various Goodwill dropoff points around town.
Dear sweet Jesus, I am overweight.
Let’s couple that with looking in the mirror and seeing the body I’ve…oozed into after 3.5 years of excuses.
Overweight is really the only word for it.
So I got to pondering exactly why it was that we’re always seemingly to fight The Battle of The Bulge in some form or another. Waistlines, general life bloat — it seems to me that it’s a matter of two halves that come together to make a whole. And when we don’t let them meet in the middle, we get the unsexy that the ladies refer to as Muffin Top (or Side Ass, which I’ve taken to calling it when speaking to my friend Jenn Fields) or the other unsexy we refer to as Storage Unit.
Behavior and Beliefs.
Why Do You Keep Doing That Thing?
Coming from a gal who used to weigh a rather remarkable 170lbs, I know overweight. I also know right how I got there in the first place (let’s just say that it’s never good when the folks at the Hardee’s drive-thru recognize your voice over the intercom). I woke up one day and said, “This sucks.” Five months later, I’d shed forty pounds. I got fit. I got so fit, in fact, that I became a personal trainer and ended up running my own business in that field for over three years.
I changed a pretty significant portion of my behavior. I started working out (and loving it) for the first time in my life. I paid attention to what I ate.
And here I am, over twelve years since I dropped my baby-got-back-front-diagonal-sideways looking at a body I don’t dig. Granted, I’m nowhere even close to that OMGapotamus gal I used to be, but I know one thing for certain:
I’d fallen ass-first into some bad behavior. Those things I didn’t need to be doing.
This is why diets generally fail. People see diets as instances, short-term schedules they can plug into and then unplug from once their goals are met.
Or until they quit. Which is what usually happens.
Changing anything requires changing your behavior. Changing your behavior sure as hell isn’t a one-night stand, either. It requires a long-term commitment to a set of practices that are good for you. For the people you love (starting with you). Your business.
And if you keep finding yourself in the same fucking situation time and time again, it’s a result of two things:
You didn’t change the behavior that led to this epic destination in Fuck Thisville and you didn’t have the beliefs that back up the necessary changes.
Whatcha Thinkin’, Vern?
As I packed my house for this move, I came across boxes that hadn’t been opened in over 3 years. And by not opened, I mean taped shut in Las Vegas in November of 2008 and never opened since. Now, before I’d moved to Las Vegas, I’d purged. My then-boyfriend and I dispensed with unfathomable piles of crap via sale or scrap. I’d done this “purging” nearly every time I’ve moved.
And here I was, doing the same goddamned thing again (and needing a 16 foot truck to fit what remained, to boot). Purging. My life was – again – overweight.
So why is it that this shit – this “overweightedness” – keeps happening?
Because somewhere, I don’t believe in what’s required to change my behavior.
We’re creatures of habit. We can do amazing things. We have inspiring thoughts. But for fuck’s sake can you tell me what a wedding dress from 1995 is doing in my everloving basement?!?!
NO! You CAN’T! Because I can’t! I also can’t tell you why there’s a box of assorted cleaning products, a yellow corduroy dog coat, one oven mitt and a shitting Little Book of Zen in a box in my garage that’s been taped closed for three years! I have no bloody idea why I still own a skirt from 1997 that I bought at TJ Maxx on FM 1960 in Houston, Texas that’s ripped clear down one side and doesn’t fasten. I have a pile of clothes that I love to wear and can’t because a water buffalo stole my soul while I slept and made my ass the size of one of the smaller Baltic States. I love the cake. I eat the cake. I don’t need the cake, but I want the cake so I eat it and then I complain when my ass resembles Lithuania.
The problem: my behaviors ain’t got backup from the beliefs.
Maybe that sounds familiar.
So What’s Next? Cut the Muffin Top
Not even Seinfeld could make a business based on muffin tops work. Why are you holding on to yours? Your excess.
Take a look at your behavior and figure out what you need to believe in order for the behavior to change.
Are you worth more?
Do you deserve more?
Can you live with less?
What is it all worth?
How does it make you feel when you spend your energy paying down a 30-year mortgage in Fuck Thisville?
Here comes a holiday week for those of us in the US. There’s no better time than now to celebrate your independence from bad habits and ruts and start working on a set of beliefs that will set your life – in every iteration – towards slender.
Easy to maneuver and looks good in sexy underthangs.
Clients you love.
A business you love running.
A life you wake up to every day and think, “Wow – I don’t really want for anything and love what I have.”
Crazy shit like that.
Being overweight – it’s not about hormones, glands, or forces out of our control. It’s about having (and owning) the beliefs required to put that house in Fuck Thisville on the market and relocate to the greater Awwwyeah area.