I looked at him and saw the person he could be.
The person he could be if only he believed in himself.
The person he’d be if he only took a single minute each day and reminded himself of what he was worth.
The person he’d be if he left her.
If he quit drinking.
If he quit it with the wake-and-bake relationship with weed.
If he’d only quit that fucking job.
Tell his mother to stop meddling.
Ask himself if his friends were really his friends.
Save that money instead of buying a $5 latte ever damn morning.
Stop hitting snooze.
Wake up earlier.
Find a gym he liked going to instead of the cheap shithole he pays for and loathes with every fiber of his being.
Asked for help.
Talked to someone.
I saw the person he could be if he only he’d listen to me.
Take the advice I was giving him.
But he won’t. Ever.
He won’t take advice from me. Well, he’ll take it. But he won’t take it to heart and actually DO something about it.
That’s because the best advice you’ll ever get will come from someone who doesn’t love you.
Someone who’s ready to tell you how it is without making excuses for you.
Who looks at your situation and calls bullshit on the bullshit.
Someone you can hate for giving you that advice. Whose office door you can slam. Whose fee you can begrudgingly pay. Whose blog you can read and close a browser window. That person you think you know but really don’t who can wax semi-poetic on all of your life’s fuckery and walk away from you when they’re done.
Someone whose blog post you can share like because the message to you is the sudden mother of all fucking AH-HAH moments…even though 9 of your friends who see this post on your wall will HEAD-DESK the minute they see it because they’ve told you the same goddamned thing, like, eleven thousand times.
The best advice comes from someone we hold up as KNOWING MORE. And y’know, our friends tend to know (in our minds) just as much as we do. Our parents always know less than we do (lies). Our in-laws know the least of all. Our co-workers know the same, our boss knows less. Our mentors — those are some smart motherfuckers but we tend to take their advice and then do the dumb shit they told us not to do once and then take their advices. We do this so we have something to talk about the next time we meet them.
Strangers, or even people whom we pay, know MORE than we do.
And they give us the holy grail of advice, time and time again.
But we won’t stop asking our friends for advice.
And as friends, we won’t stop giving advice.
We won’t stop wishing and wanting the best for the people we love.
But it sure helps to know that the best source of advice, no matter who you are, is someone who doesn’t love you.
Because it’s a lot easier to throw a glass ashtray at some stranger/paid-for motherfucker when shit doesn’t work out than to look at someone who loves us and blame them for advice we actually TOOK.
I mean, if you think about it, you just read THIS. I’m a stranger. You’re sharing this with people who don’t know me because you liked this advice from a stranger. It’s why the self-help industry will never die — because we refuse to take advice from the people who love us, and for FREE.
We’d rather pay.
And so long as we know that — here’s what you can do about it:
find the strangers who can help the people you love by giving them the same fucking advice you’d have (or already have) given them.
Because baby, if they ain’t gonna listen to you — they might as well listen to someone who sounds like you.
Save your breath — and be someone’s stranger today*.
**but not the unsolicited advice kind because nobody listens to THAT advice, either 😉