It’s not depression.
It’s just a time-old tale about doing too much for too long in too many places and getting bit in the ass by said process. Again.
And I’m not whining. Who the hell whines about great clients, doing work you love, and having office puppies? No one.
But when I look at my schedule over the past two weeks, I wonder where my business has been in all this business that’s creating blocks of varying colors all over my Mondays through Fridays.
So today, I’m talking about why I keep doing all of the things I don’t want to be doing and pondering why I don’t spend more time drinking my own Kool-Aid. It’s a Bitch Slap…for me.
First, I Hate Kool-Aid
Tastes like ass. Next question.
Secondly, Because Business Isn’t Just Good — It’s Great
Since launching the revamped “me” back in February, I’ve had even more opportunities to do work I love for amazing people, brands, and companies. How do you say “no” to everything you love doing? The problems come when I get so focused on the work I love doing that I forget that I’m my first client every day. Case in point, since I started this blog post, I’ve written 6 emails to other people, started a blog draft for another client, responded to 2 messages on Facebook, and made 2 referral-related introductions.
Thirdly (thirdly?), Because Life is Waiting
The weather is getting to be all spring up in this joint we call Colorado. Yet for all of winter, I never took that second downhill skiing lesson. I never went snow biking. And now, I’m looking at my weekends as blank slates of work time instead of two days I can fill with outdoor-related awesome. I’m dating someone (which is really none of your business, but it makes me happy so suck it — I’m telling you) and the time I spend with him is nothing short of drama-free amazeballs. I’m worried about being a good partner when I can’t seem to hit my “off” switch. He deserves to have “me” present. So yeah, I’ve figured out how to have a life again — I’m just sucking at strategy and execution. I want this to continue to be amazeballs and not degenerate into just a frustrated expression of oh, balls because my head somehow found its way back into my ass (as it is wont to do).
Fourthly, Let’s Talk About that “Off” Switch
When your office is a laptop, work is where you make it. 4:32AM when bouts of insomnia strike, 9:56PM when you can’t seem to put the fucker down and want to knock out “just one more thing” before crawling into bed after yet another 16 hour work bender…
The “off” switch is a problem. I was doing fantastically with the close-the-laptop-at-6PM routine until…well, I have no idea when. But “fantastically” shipped off to Bali (along with my skinny jeans, apparently) and I’m left here finding myself acting like an asshole and spooning that “off” switch when what I’d rather be spooning lives about 35 miles from Chez Moi.
And the reason I vent? Because I’m not perfect. I share rants on excuses and how pissed I am about the media twist behind a stupid fucking buzzphrase like “lean in”. Clients I love? Yup. Speaking gigs that excite me? Damn straight. Business? Beyond good.
But I’m human. And if I don’t remind myself of that little, yet all the while huge fucking detail, I’m going to hit critical mass and implode. Then, it won’t matter how wonderful my business and my personal life are — because I won’t have the energy to give either the attention they deserve.
So, when will I stop doing this to myself? Stay tuned. Each day, I do get a little bit closer to that next better version of myself. But I’ll always be an imperfect work in progress. It would appear as if I need to focus on the “I’ll” part of that phrase a bit more than the “work”, with a double helping of “progress”. Me? I’ve been slapped. The Business of Me is different from My Business — something I’d do well with remembering more often.
PS: There’s a fresh, bite-sized podcast out from Brand Fast-Trackers about my book, The Power of Unpopular. It’s 20 minutes. Play it in the car. The hosts were also brilliant and this podcast series might be a great addition to your listening repertoire if you love great information in small doses on the latest business and marketing books and from thought leaders dedicated to helping you kick ass.