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The Bitch Slap: Apple Can Suck My Left Apple

Jul 12, 2010

bad apple customer service*** Small print disclaimer – this is my journey and perhaps a similar journey shared by other iPhone 3G owners. If you’re in 3GS land, you’re a happier camper. If you’re a 4G owner already, you’re Apple’s golden child and you’re the one sucking THEIR apple.

I became an Apple user long before technology made it possible for me to email, Tweet and Facebook with the touch of a button. I had the iPod Mini (which wasn’t so “mini”) and then finally broke down and bought a Nano. It is lime green, shiny, and I love it so.

Then came the iPhone. Which was an unreliable piece of sometimes-functioning technology that had no right to have “phone” anywhere in the name. Alternate names I’ve considered (if I worked for Apple’s branding department): the iSuck, the iCan’tMakeACall, iCanPlayMusic and the iCanDropCalls.

I’ve gone through all of the software upgrades, each of which have had their own associated version of hell. I even had a 4G reserved on launch day, yet opted for some of the buzz to dispel before I jumped into another bite of Apple. So in mid-June, I plugged my little iPhone 3G in its Peter Frank monkay case into iTunes to sync and saw that OS4 was available.

Well, fuck YES! I clicked that shit like I was playing a game of banner ad Punch the Monkey.

And that’s the day where I began to live Armageddon.

My phone would lock up, the maps would freeze, I had to reboot 3 times to place a call. Apps would shut down at the drop of a hat, my battery life lasted a half day at best and I found myself scheduling meetings based on the availability of an electrical outlet. The new OS sucked, and I’m not the only one who feels so. But hey – when I plugged into iTunes, I acted like a good little iPhone owner and said YES! I’ll do the upgrade!

So, after living in OS4 hell for a week, I decided to downgrade the software. I used this article from Lifehacker, which worked BEAUTIFULLY.

Except that all of my contacts were gone. POOF! Gone. Here’s where the fun begins. iTunes told me it couldn’t restore from backup as the save was in a higher version of software. Here’s is also where The Redhead starts to explode. I’ll finish this story in steps so it’s easy to follow along:

Apple, you’re getting bitch slapped and can suck my left apple. I own an iPod, a MacBook, an iPhone 3G and an iPad is arriving on my doorstep TODAY or TOMORROW. I’m an advocate for your brand, your OS and a convert after having been raised a PC owner by a mom who’s a senior programmer/analyst and who built every computer I’d ever owned until I (gasp) bought a laptop in 2006.

Your service and attitude is unacceptable.

I’m going to be in your Cherry Creek store this week and all I’m saying is that you can either MAKE or BREAK my Apple patronage experience. I am *in* warranty, my phone is functional, and there had better be a fix administered AT the store for this shit to get right and get right quick. You’re Geniuses, after all. A Genius would understand that a legion of 3G owners being pissed off about their products dues to software you provided and prompted to install is NOT good for business.

It’s like Honda saying,”Mmmmm – yeah. When you brought your car in for service last time, we upgraded the software in your engine computer. Yeah, it’s got a lot of bugs. I know it leaves you stalled at the side of the road lots, but it’s a known issue. You could Google a workaround and see if that helps but we can’t help you.”

Service is more important than product and in this case, the customer IS right and IS in control. We’re going to chat this week, Apple. And I beg you to end the arrogance and find solutions for me – the owner of FIVE of your products.

65 comments
Justin Barton
Justin Barton

I'm real disappointed in Apple but now just pissed an if something don't happen soon this new gov internet by politics will fuck our lives up an apple is behind it to they made more profits than any other company in the us last yr over 400,000 per employee an as u can see this very min there already monitoring web for sites an shutting them down u better act now an fast before it's to late an these dicks fuck everyone look up DOD an TTP an ios jailbreak is illegal

Jacob
Jacob

Greatest Article Ever. So True

Danny
Danny

Welcome to hell I owned a MacII way back in the 90's and I loved it but... I couldn't find software, it crashed constantly(this is early internet, dial up) and for the life of me I still touted Apple as the new world order.  I switched to PC due to a free machine in 2000... jump to 2012 I have never owned an Apple product since Thanks Danny

Dawnzo
Dawnzo

I am sitting in atticipation on what happened when you went to the Apple Store? Please do not make us all sit in agnst waiting.

The Redhead
The Redhead

I'm going in this weekend to "explain" things to Apple. And I've already begin inquiries with Verizon and Sprint.

godzero
godzero

How did it go and did anyone video the scene?

The Redhead
The Redhead

"Bork" is highly underrated as a verb, adjective and noun.

Erroin Martin
Erroin Martin

Well, that makes me feel better with my first generation iPhone (which is dying a slow and painful death.) It is sad about Apple's customer service. They used to be top notch and help find work arounds for many things. It was what made them better than a PC. Yet, when you grow as fast as they have then it all that good will seems to fade away.Love the use of the word Bork!

The Redhead
The Redhead

I've been so busy this week that my new iPad is still in the box :( Given my current opinion of Apple, I'm glad I got it for free.

Steve Stone
Steve Stone

Apple has had a summer to forget as far as I am concerned. I was holding out for the CDMA iPhone but now I am thinking about going Android. I am not sure about getting an iPad to replace my iPod touch. I am really curious about the new Android based tablets. Good luck with Apple.

Alysson
Alysson

Aww...you're sweet. <swoons> Right back at 'cha, Erika! :)

godzero
godzero

Since iTunes detects the exact build of the iPhone OS, it should be able to do more than just warn, it should PREVENT the upgrade. I dislike iTunes for many reasons already and here's another one!I had a similar experience with a Linksys router; the upgrade borked it and Customer "Support" told me I had the wrong version of the hardware for that upgrade. It was definitely out of warranty and they absolutely refused to offer me anything. Since then I have advised clients, friends, family, etc to purchase network gear from ANY OTHER manufacturer.

The Redhead
The Redhead

This is kinda funny. I'm half inclined to ping Misty Montano over at Channel 9 News and see if she wants to send a reporter.

Godzero
Godzero

Where TF is Cherry Creek? Oh wait... http://bit.ly/cAJkCDBit too far for me I'm afraid. Will someone please video this encounter? With an iPhone 4, of course!

The Redhead
The Redhead

Cherry Creek tomorrow morning. Be there or be square.

The Redhead
The Redhead

"Genius" is likely to be a term used loosely. I'm SERIOUSLY printing out this blog and all of the comments when I walk in tomorrow.

The Redhead
The Redhead

Yes, everything is gone. It's a known issue when you take the 3G to OS4. POOF! Gone. iTunes backs up your apps and phone. Trust me - I've pried open every file on my computer. Apple concurs: "you accepted the risks when you upgraded." It's apparently even in the disclaimers. Straight fucked.

Aly
Aly

I'd honestly like to believe this isn't an intentional ploy by Apple to indirectly force people to upgrade to the new iPhone, but I can't think of any other reason that the software upgrade wouldn't offer a BIG, FAT DISCLAIMER informing users that upgrades to earlier model iPhones would render them virtually useless.It's not as if Apple is made up of a bunch of numbnuts who wouldn't consider the impact that such a loss of functionality would cause for users of older model iPhones. I've always been an Apple user. As such I've witnessed the devolution of the brand from "The Uncompromising Underdog Innovator" to the "Piss On You Microsoft Protégé" they seem to aspire to be today. This is par for the course with King Steve's commitment to turning Apple into a brand for the masses, rather than the brand embraced by more discerning and creative-minded consumers.

Carole
Carole

Also a dyed in the wool Mac girl. Bought a new MacBookPro couple of years ago. My first laptop. I'd always had a big clunky desktop and my mind was just convinced that this teensy little thing had to be fragile and needed protection. Totally paranoid about anything damaging it. Nothing allowed near it, no dogs, no food, no (OMG!) drinks, no dust, no foul language, no nothing. Couple of months later, it died. Dead. Nothing. Not a Peep. Took it to the Apple "Genius" (in quotes for a reason), he said it needed a new motherboard, and sent it off to the techy place to have it replaced. All very much within warranty. Then I get a message that it's not covered because the problem was due to liquid damage. No way in hell!!!! Put up a (huge) fight and they sent me photos of the interior of my MacBookPro. Showed nasty looking damage in a couple of spots that could have been from liquids. BUT...each image was an individual shot of a specific area which meant that the serial number wasn't visible. I asked to see a photo of the full interior showing the serial number. Nope, couldn't do that, and if i wanted my MacBookPro back, I had to pay $1200.00. I bitched and moaned my way up to Steve Jobs office, but basically, it was my word against theirs. They finally agreed to settle for $800.00. Since they were holding my MBP hostage, there wasn't a lot I could do at that point, so I paid the ransom. But I will never, never, never believe there was a speck of liquid on that motherboard. No one is in my office but me, so no one else could have committed the crime. Either the photos were from someone else's laptop, or one of their repair guys slopped his coke in my machine.Then to top it off, when I talked to my Mac repair guy, he told me I should have brought it directly to him, they would have sent in the request for a new motherboard, no questions, end of story. Silly me thought that since I was under warranty it would be easier to go direct to the source.And do NOT get me started on iTunes, the biggest fucking scam in the world. If I PAY for something, a tune, an album, a movie, whatever, I should be able to play it on ANY device out there, not just on my computer or an iPod. I'm old enough to remember the days (as is anyone older than five) when you bought a CD, a tape, or one of those old round vinyl things and it played on any machine of your choosing, tape deck, CD player, record player, anything, anywhere. I'm still an Apple girl, unfortunately, because despite all else, there's nothing better out there. Gee, maybe that's why they get away with all this shit. Ya think?I have a feeling our Erika's just a tad more outspoken than me, so can't wait to hear the results of her chat with the "Genius" team...

Byron Dl
Byron Dl

not being argumentative, just trying to understand how is that possible. So you just created contacts on your iPhone and not in the contact app? iTunes doesn't maintain your contacts, it's the app that does it.

The Redhead
The Redhead

Maybe the white one will go to eleven :)

Eric Marden
Eric Marden

I have a 3G and am running iOS4, and while the upgrade was a little sketchy at first, a reboot (and a resync of my contacts from Google) fixed that. It runs a little bit slower (which I expected) but I'm due for upgrade anyway and am just holding out for the White iPhone 4 and/or for Verizon to get the iPhone - which ever comes first.

Sarah Jane Griesemer
Sarah Jane Griesemer

Wow, I've been hovering over the buy button for a new 4 for a few days now. Between you and Consumer Reports, I'm glad I haven't purchased yet. Android, here I come.

Kevin
Kevin

They charge $29.99 for a help call!?!?

The Redhead
The Redhead

I'm probably going to print out all of the comments from this blog and bring 'em with :) Hey - even my MOM is on my side! (and she's a PC gal through and through)

ShellyKramer
ShellyKramer

I am packing my bag NOW to come in and accompany you to the Apple store. Not. To. Be. Missed.

Cat8lady
Cat8lady

Go get 'em, Redhead!!! I know you will tell them EXACTLY how you feel.

The Redhead
The Redhead

No, they are not synced to my address book. So yes, I DID lose them. #wavesbyebyetocontacts I synced to iTunes exclusively. Why the hell should I have to sync to multiple apps?

The Redhead
The Redhead

Way to hold out and make a decision like an EDUCATED consumer! ;-) (unlike me)

The Redhead
The Redhead

Seems like, it , doesn't it? Makes me wonder.

The Redhead
The Redhead

QUOTE: "it was THEIR software upgrade that did the damage to your phone so warranty should be irrelevant."Precisely.

The Redhead
The Redhead

Oh man...if only your walls could talk!

The Redhead
The Redhead

I'm hoping so, too. Especially since my iPad arrived today. *Sigh*

Daniel
Daniel

I BELIEVE it might even be illegal. Usery comes to mind, but I know that is not accurate to this situation. "Bait and Switch" also comes to mind, but I doubt it could be upheld in this type of situation.

Carol Roth
Carol Roth

ErikaI am definitely a "PC" and not an Apple advocate. I tried to buy an iTunes giftcard one time for a friend and it was sheer hell. I know Apple has many raving fans, but I am not one of them. I hope that you get a good solution to your problem- I have admired that Apple seems to do a great job with its customers (even if I am not one of them), so it would be sad to hear that is not the case...

Michelle Lowery
Michelle Lowery

*sigh* This explains a few things. I can't get over there being no warning in iTunes. Really does make it seem like a case of screwing up the old device so you have to buy a new one. Bastards.

Irant
Irant

Who do these fuckers think they are? Microsoft?

Bill W
Bill W

Ummm yea, Erika, if you're ready to disown that iPad, I think I might be able to find a good home for it...

Byron Dl
Byron Dl

Get the frustration, but are you contacts not synced to your address book? So you didn't lose them, they're just not on your phone right?

ScottW
ScottW

I'm sure this won't help any of you with your iPhone issues but it's sure helped me make up my mind on what smart phone to upgrade to when the time arrives. It won't be an Apple product either. Not after reading this and other stories. Pass!

Ike Pigott
Ike Pigott

I jusr *love* how Apple skates by on the Jedi Mind Trick. "You have a bad configuration, can we suggest upgrading your handset?"If they keep that up, it will be the Droids you're looking for!

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