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The Part Where Facebook Thinks I’m a P0rn Star

Oct 4, 2013

Confused Camille Crimson

There’s no argument – I snuggle-up and get real intimate with what might consider to be “adult language” on both my blog and Facebook page. I will never back down from my assertion that the word “fuck” is the most useful word in the English language.

For the past few weeks, however, I’ve gotten a flood (a metric fuckton, if you will) of emails, Facebook messages, and wall posts from readers informing me of the following:

similar 3

 

And this one:

Similar 2

 

And perhaps my favorite (surely it’s obvious why):

Similar 1

 

So today (since we’re so SIMILAR), I’d like to take the opportunity to say hello to Miss Camille Crimson, an adult entertainer out of Canadaland.

Everyone, say hello to Miss Camille!

Screen Shot 2013-10-03 at 1.44.36 PM

 

Now, Camille’s a pretty hot sandwich and I’m flattered that Facebook thinks were similar.

After all, we are both redheads.

We both have freckles (giggle).

Might I also say that we both respectively have a nice set of boobs?

And we’re both adult industry professionals.

Wait…

I suppose it really comes (heh – I’m twelve) down to what you define as “adult.”

I mean, I have no doubt Camille’s making a damn fine living (her Facebook page is VERY active). I’m just a columnist for Entrepreneur Magazine, American Express OPEN Forum, and the author of a couple of books. Then there was that TEDx talk a year ago that some folks liked. Some.

Camille seems to have cornered the market on “the art of the blowjob.” Me? I just have no tolerance for the folks who think fucking around is more important than getting shit done. Who knew Facebook’s algorithms were able to make such advanced connections?

So, aside from the glaring similarities that Camille and I share — today, I’m having some fun at Facebook’s expense.

Ya see, this type of “similar to” pairing could happen to your company’s Facebook page as it has mine. If there’s a single word (and I’m betting mine is “redhead”) in your page name that could be targeted by a business or persona that you aren’t particularly keen on being associated with, your audience could see the likes of the lovely Miss Camille Crimson on your “similar to” references on a calendar date coming soon.

Why does this happen? Well, I’ll bet it’s because Miss Crimson is running a Facebook ad campaign targeting certain keywords and interests. And in the Facebook Ad Targeting Tool, she can target me (because my Redhead Writing page comes up in the search box) but I can’t target her page (because hers doesn’t – DAMMIT). How do I know? Because of course, I tried:

like ad targeting

ad targeting biff

It’s also flattering that she likes the Redhead Writing page. (See my update at the bottom of the post about the Facebook ads vs. Facebook’s algorithms…)

So! Back to the fun of it. There’s a ballsy redheaded maven out there targeting my Facebook fans. She’s gorgeous and probably knows WAY more about blow jobs than I ever will. I thought I’d drop by and say hello to her, introduce my audience to her…

And have some fun.

First of all — well played, Miss Crimson. Well played. Your ads are doing the trick. And as a side note, I fully support Miss Crimson’s career choice. I’ll bet that in many circles our brands are equally unpopular. Fuck those people.

As of this morning, I’ve transformed my Facebook page into my version of redheaded porn (which I assure you is more comical than anything). I’m also including a gallery of pictures here that didn’t make the final cut (they will also be on the Facebook page once I hit publish here). I’d like to thank my friend Erin for coming over to my house ON HER BIRTHDAY to take semi-naked pictures of me.

erin email

 

The bottom line is — if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. And have fun doing it.

dog kiss wide eyes maniacal Hippo decided to be in the photo shoot tongue Show stealer. It's STILL all about her. cover image nekkid dog

 

Quick update (8:55am MT): Camille (a very lovely lady) contacted me and said she’s NOT running Facebook ads. So yeah — this is all the work of Facebook’s awesome algorithms. They’re drunk. How awesome is that?!

89 comments
changememe
changememe

Hilarious - particularly the photobombing going on in those last shots.

jatman
jatman

Thank you!  I have just laughed myself silly over this.  Thanks, I needed that!


SophieLatulippeOuellet
SophieLatulippeOuellet

Yeah... Well, Your pictures are nice, but you look a bit shy and I'm afraid that your porn campaign might lose some credibility. Aside from that, you have to "fight fire with.fire..."

RollUpUrWindows
RollUpUrWindows

LOL!  Looks like your little dog is having kind of a WTF moment. The big one is like: whatever, Erika... 

Just woke up over here and it made me start the day with a good laugh!!! Thanks for that.

Kris

P.S. Didn't check her out, but I am sure that Camille can't rock the tits AND the tats like you can.

JayWorling
JayWorling

Absolutely brilliant Erika.. Fuckin' love your work :-D 

PhillyKiripatea
PhillyKiripatea

Haha! Love this so much. Freaking hilarious :D :D :D

LindaEsposito
LindaEsposito

Hah! After enjoying the role of "centerfold" on your awesome website for the past 8 days, I was dreading the day I'd be knocked off the pedestal. Until I saw THIS. Good God Almighty--this made my Friday (almost as much as when you...<--cuz I'm 13). 

Love that Camille has a sense of humor to go along with her formidable assets. Makes me want to like her page for the fuck of it. All kidding aside, you have lovely symmetrical features. And to all the pervs who read into that one, the features between one's ears.


And Happy belated Birthday, Erin!

JayFowler
JayFowler

Erika,

 I swear that until I dug deeper I actually thought you were doing these pics for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Being October and all. So at first glance I was all "Brave and good on her." On second glance I am all; "Brave and hilarious response." Either way this took guts. Love ya babe!

SilentJay

JuneLefebvre
JuneLefebvre

The world needs more awesome, and by god, you are definitely delivering today!  Also? I now passionately craze a necklace that says "Fuck". Because of reasons. >.>

FeldmanCreative
FeldmanCreative

The power of titillation. I had a ton of fun with this one E and feel the sudden urge to take up smoking. 

greeneturtleman
greeneturtleman

As my favorite marketing-  guru/ bluestocking/ fanfuckintastic Demigod I salute you!!!! Ok, ok, ok, too much? I enjoy reading your "outlooks" and I LOVE and appreciate how you MASH words and ideas together to make a FUCKING delicious might as well be chocolate cake of reality and Bullshit repellant, I know too much........I appreciate your foot steps,(that's my more Gandhi approach) ! Love , Peace and Chicken Grease! =D

ErinWeed
ErinWeed

Penelope is a camera whore. That is all.

svehex
svehex

A great post Erika :) If anyone is so prudish as to unsubscribe for this, they shouldn't have been on your list in the first place. You rock!

bitchinsuburbia
bitchinsuburbia

Wow - this makes becoming a porn star kinda easy - I love your digital manipulation AND your au natural photos. And since my nom de blog is Bitch'in Suburbia, allow me to say... lesson learned!  Thanks for the tips! (That's what she said... (Also can't wait for my porn star turn, too.)

Ephraim Mallery, Modern Hedonist
Ephraim Mallery, Modern Hedonist

This just in from Orange County: Metallics are in! Sure, they were talking about nails, but you're a fucking redhead. YOU have metallic built in. Holy shit, that's awesome.

EdmundCharlesDavis-Quinn
EdmundCharlesDavis-Quinn

You are gorgeous.  Facebook is bizarre. Love the picture with the tongue.  There needs to be more silly, always more silly.

KRISZTA
KRISZTA

Awsomeness? Check.

:D

Note_to_CMO
Note_to_CMO

Well, this certainly clears things up for me. Never dawned on me you two were different people. (Is there a 'members only' section of your site now? Asking for a friend).

Brandy Anderson
Brandy Anderson

lol! "less naked, just as fun." 

You are so funny! :-)

Jennifer Kent
Jennifer Kent

Don't stop being fucking amazing Erika!!! Your posts never fail to make my day brighter and funnier. Thank you!

ScarletRegina
ScarletRegina

You've got some really stunning.... dogs, Erika!

tomdrector
tomdrector

I am smiling and wishing I could have assisted you with your photo session.  (And yes, I've often said that Facebook IS drunk.)

RexStrother
RexStrother

The "art" of the blowjob? - I'm looking for the "science" of the blowjob - because reproducibility is EVERYTHING!

Trackbacks

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  7. [...] Erika Napoletano is a speaker, writer, branding consultant and she just happens to be a redhead. She seems like a badass and I would very much like to be her when I grow up. She has a Facebook Page just like Camille does, only hers has little or nothing at all to do with blowjobs. Fair enough. Different strokes for different folks. (Pardon the pun.) She even did a TEDxTalk! But she’s a redhead, and that seems to be all that counts when it comes to Facebook’s page recommendation algorithm because everyone who liked her page immediately got this: [...]

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