Bus-Riding Scum, I Am

Evil fucking bus of despair. Apparently.Last week I was in Las Vegas. No debauchery, no (overly) lewd behavior. I was attending a convention. And on Sunday, stuck for a ride to Summerlin – which lies West of The Strip, I rode the bus.

Yes, the bus. The B-U-S.

And I realized: man, some people are judgmental motherfuckers.

Content to walk anywhere (hell, I’ve climbed Rainier, Whitney and Kilimanjaro…walking is NOTHING), I rolled my little carry-on suitcase and toted my laptop bag about a half mile from my brunch joint to the bus stop on Desert Inn and Paradise. Along the way, I witnessed – and was subject to – some nastiness.

At one point, some collegiate scholars leaned out the rolled-down window of their rented Ford Mustang convertible and shouted, “Get a car, girlie!” (Girlie?) At another, I had a J. Crew-clad empty-nester glare at me and swing wide of my position at the bus stop. I assure you that I had showered that morning and taken care with my hair and makeup. I actually looked kinda cute in my own estimation. I’d have fucked me.

It was evident that, to some on foot and others propelled by hot air and gasoline, I was bus-riding scum. Worth less because I was hopping on board an air-conditioned ride that took me directly to my destination for a whopping $1.75 instead of a $45 cab fare.

When I boarded the bus, however, no one looked at me differently. There I was with a huge box of condoms (promo pieces/business cards for my Dear Redhead column with ToyWithMe.com) and two other bags, but not one weird glance was lobbed in my direction while on the bus. I like the bus folk.

Life smacks you every now and then, and I’m glad I rode the bus on Sunday. I’m also glad for the douchebag-driven remark and onion-sniffing wrinkled nose of the fifty-something ex-debutante that passed me by. Makes you think twice about judging a book by its cover – and to be honest, what’s wrong with the bus anyway? I got to sit and think for the thirty minute ride and jot notes for future blog posts while fresh in my mind. All this while staring across the way at a teenage boy wearing a shirt that simply said “Yeah” and sitting next to a little girl who wanted to see what I was typing on my iPhone. So I loaded up Pee Monkey and let her play with it.

I’ll be bus-riding scum every day if I get to see that smile.

10 comments
Killian
Killian

I never understood the stigma of riding the bus. When I was in the Dominican Republic a few months back, the resort people in Juan Dolio warned us very carefully to avoid the buses, and instead, be sure to use the much safer cabs. UH huh. The same trip that cost me $6 American each way to get to Santo Domingo on a bus would've cost me $90 American each way in a cab. I don't think so, chum. I'll take the occasional crowds, the stares at the lone white girl on the bus who carries a cane. I'll also take the smiles from kids, the broken conversation as I struggle to remember my Spanish and they fumble for English. We learned how the bus "system" works there, and even learned the unspoken communication used to summon one, along with how to tell if the approaching vehicle is the one you want. People who snark at you for taking the bus? Screw 'em. Not worth the trouble. You'll learn a lot more on the bus than you ever will in a cab!

Dan @ Casual Kitchen
Dan @ Casual Kitchen

Phenomenal post. Keep it going. There's never going to be a shortage of DBs out there who try to bring others down. If we cave to those people, the world will be a worse off place for it. Thanks for not caving. Dan Casual Kitchen

Todd
Todd

"I'd have fucked me." <-- Loved that line. Busses are great. I loved having them when I lived in Minneapolis. I wish I lived in a city that had decent public transportation. Thanks for the fun read.

hubbit
hubbit

@TheRedhead: Honestly, the only reason my wife and I drive to work now (we work in the same office) is because they moved us to a nearby suburb where it takes four times as long by public transportation. When we worked in downtown Chicago, it was CTA buses and Metra trains every day, and we loved it. Those of us who were regulars built a rapport and sought each other out on the platforms and in the train cars. It can be a very sociable time, and you can get to know a kaleidoscopic spectrum of people.

Cupcake Mafia
Cupcake Mafia

I find some of the nicest and most accepting people on the light rail and bus system in Denver. Regardless of whether they are there for environmental, financial, or other reasons everyone treats each other with courtesy. If people modeled there behavior after bus riding folk it would be a much mellower world.

rtadlock
rtadlock

Last year my truck broke down, and I started riding the bus because the shop was backed up for two weeks. Six months later, I still hadn't fixed my truck because getting up early enough to ride my bike to the bus and then read blogs the whole way to work was turned out to be pure bliss. I eventually fixed my truck, but I take the bus when I can, and like you said, the people I met on the bus where awesome. They still say hi to me whenever I ride, even if a few months goes by before we see each other again.

hubbit
hubbit

You know, there is absolutely nothing wrong with riding a bus. I have no idea why some people feel it necessary to condemn bus passengers as being beneath respect and dignity. My wife, oldest daughter, and cousin have all traveled by bus, usually between Chicago and New York. Go you for saving money, sitting in air-conditioned comfort, getting things done, and being generally awesome. Well, you didn't need a bus for that last one. But still, WTF is with people and their judgments? Whatever mode of transportation you or anyone else takes is no one else's fucking business.

Matches Malone
Matches Malone

I can't say what I want to say without sounding crass... However, I do agree with your sentiment, as I take the bus most of the time to get places, and I live in LA :)

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