Choose Your Shoes

choose your shoesDoes your business suck? Chances are, it just might.

Here we are, one day before Chanukah and six before Christmas. I’m not even bringing up the inevitable fuck me that tax time is approaching one again. Oh wait.

But I got to thinking over the weekend about whether my business sucks. And like everyone else’s businesses, some parts of it do.

So what the hell am I going to do about it?

Owning a business that sucks is like masturbating while wearing ugly shoes — while it might get the job done, you don’t want anyone to see what you’re doing or what you look like when you’re doing it. Isn’t it time to dispense with the ugly shoes? God knows, I’m not going to tell anyone to stop masturbating and I’m a big fan of shoes worth masturbating in.

Life’s too short to wear ugly shoes, especially when you’re getting down to business.

So we have two choices:

Keep diddling your business in shoes that don’t fit, feel uncomfortable, give your blisters and make your business experience less ossum (which again, is like a possum but better)

or

Get some new fuckin’ shoes.

And Then I Got Excited. But Not Like That…

Because it’s not enough for me to have sat down and realized that there are certain parts of my business that suck. I had to admit it. Out loud.

And then I had to ask for help. And boy, oh boy. If there’s one thing that I suck at it’s asking for help.

But I did.

This weekend, I sat down and reached out to people who make me feel okay about asking for help. And I got responses.

Then, the most kickassapotamus thing happened: I got excited. Because I was out from under the burden of diddling around with my business while wearing ugly shoes.

Isn’t It Time You Got Some New Shoes?

Maybe you didn’t expect to get a blog in your inbox today that equated things that suck about your business to the relationship you have with Rosie Palm and her five sisters. Do I care? Notsomuch. But what I do know is this:

If those shoes you’re wearing hurt, take them the fuck off and get some new ones. It’s time you started feeling good about the

  • business you do
  • how you do it
  • and how you feel when doing it.

And it doesn’t hurt to look good when you’re doing it, too, because no one wants to do business with a hot tranny mess.

So maybe this holiday season, you want to dispense with the kumbayahs and bullshit advice about those “shoes” you’re wearing looking good when they hurt more than an April 16th phone call from your CPA that starts with, “Oh, hey…that decimal was in the wrong place.” Are you going to change where you go? Are you going to change how you get there? ARE YOU GOING TO CHANGE YOUR SHOES?

No matter who you are and what you do, there’s some part of your business that sucks. It’s just up to you whether you’re going to keep up with the ugly footwear or slip into something that looks good, feels great, and kinda makes you want to take some pictures of your alone time with your business…

because we all know that diddling feels better when we’re especially fond of how we look and feel when it’s happening.

And that? Yeah. That just happened.

12 comments
Lewis LaLanne aka Nerd #2
Lewis LaLanne aka Nerd #2

My Grandpa is fond of saying "You can taste it when a woman loves to cook". I'm fond of saying, "You can feel it when a woman genuinely loves her body and loves sex." And now reading your post brings me to the realization that "You can tell when someone actually fits in their business and they are comfortable there expressing themselves and their gifts." It's the feeling I get when I come here. You're at ease and experiencing pleasure doing what you're doing. Thanks for reminding me to axe or delegate anything in business that doesn't allow me to experience these feelings.

Killian
Killian

I definitely need a new pair of Tevas.  Preferably "Mush" style, kthx. But first, I gotta thank you for giving me the kick-in-the-ass-apotamus that I needed to file a sexual harassment grievance at my office tomorrow morning.

Matt Bernier
Matt Bernier

We have been weeding out all the things we really dislike about what we were doing day to day and moving towards all the things we love doing. This has made business so much more fun, even though we were doing this during the Thanksgiving/End Of Year slump. Things are getting on track again and we are looking forward to a great 2012.

SL Clark
SL Clark

Jimmy Choo Gamer, Hot! A couple months ago I was thinking on this as well and after many tears, I ripped open a new box of shoes. If 2012 is going to be a different experience, I must make big changes to what sucks. Thanks for the reminder and confirming my insanity. -Steve

Darien Goldman
Darien Goldman

My marketing sucks. Thank gods my shoes never do. 

Suz
Suz

Kick-ass post and just what I need for the new year.

Amanda
Amanda

What I got is a buncha mismatching shoes. Suckapotamus. Weeding the uglies out. Thanks, Redhead.

Aaron F Stanton
Aaron F Stanton

"kickassapotamus" - I love that word! I am going to find a way to work that into a sentence Very Soon Now.

Christina Nelson
Christina Nelson

I recently realized I was wearing totally crappy shoes. Working on finding an awesome-tastic pair right now. Excited to see where they take me :-) ~C