Everything You Don’t Have

bitchy little princessI’ll make this short — shut it. Just fucking shut it already. *points finger at own face — leaves you in control of your own fingers*

<abandons talk of fingers in fear of conversation turning south…and fast>

Sit down, shut your organic lettuce-eating, soy latte-drinking hole, and look around you. THAT is what you have.

If you’re not seeing what you WANT to see, change it.

If you don’t LIKE what you see, do something about it.

If you DON’T see what you’re looking for — IT ISN’T THERE!

Quit being a bitchy little princess. <insert accusatory finger AGAIN>

If I waste one more moment of my life pissing and moaning about everything I don’t have, it will be one moment too much. I’m going to make a list, right here and motherfucking now, about all of the things that don’t matter and that will never (ever) get in the way of anything that I want:

  • My age
  • The size of my tits
  • The saucy nature of the language that comes out of my mouth and keyboard
  • My financial status
  • My cash flow
  • My friends
  • My family
  • My clients
  • My excuses
  • What anything I own costs
  • Who I know
  • Who knows me

Every single one of those things is mutable. Except for possibly family. Which makes 92% of those things completely mutable.

So quit bitching about everything you don’t have. *wags finger at self in a menacing manner* Because when you spend your time bitching about everything you don’t have, what you’re really doing is giving every ounce of energy to one assholian little thing:


So shut it already. Don’t bitch to me about what you don’t have. You’re not entitled to anything and if you look around and don’t see it, go get it.

Because…I dunno. Maybe doing is a hella more inspiring than sitting on your sofa watching pornos and eating Cheetos all day. When the bag is empty, you still don’t have anything more than you had when you started the nom-nom fest — save about 2000 calories you now have to burn on the elliptical machine. And you probably have fake cheese powder in embarrassing places.

Now fuck off. Go do something about everything you don’t have. And I’ll do the same.

Have a beautiful day.

31 replies
  1. Kennyd
    Kennyd says:

    Your language bugs me.  Your posts inspire me.  I am so conflicted.  Now fuck off.  What an orgasmic way to end a truly inspired post.  Thanks for the slap.  

    (Leaving the keyboard now to go wash the cheetos off my…fingers.)

  2. Sue Kearney
    Sue Kearney says:

    Simple isn’t it?

    If you’re not seeing what you WANT to see, change it.If you don’t LIKE what you see, do something about it.If you DON’T see what you’re looking for — IT ISN’T THERE!Phew! Thanks for bringin’ it this morning!Love and light!

  3. startabuzz
    startabuzz says:

    “Assholian”. I believe I’ll use that in a sentence (or several) today. I’m not a bitcher; I’m a picker, a grinner, a lover, and a sinner. I told the world to take a ride on its fuckstick early this year and found the results most diverting. Oh, and porn is pretty inspiring. Or so I’ve heard.

  4. The JackB
    The JackB says:

    That guy in the mirror is my biggest supporter and my worst enemy. I tried to kick his ass once and learned first hand that sometimes it really hurts when you you cut your nose to spite your face.

  5. Gwen
    Gwen says:

    Growing into it.  Whined way too much for one lifetime. Getting up off my a-double-s to make some awesomeness happen.  The End. 

  6. Lewis LaLanne aka Nerd #2
    Lewis LaLanne aka Nerd #2 says:

    It’s so easy and herd-like to be 100% attached to all of the lies of your personal story of how the 100% of those excuses above have and do shape your life.

    Tony Robbins was having a conversation with one of the co-creators of Neuro Linguistic Programming, John Grinder and John told him . . .

    “Tony, never believe anything too much because they’ll always be a situation where it’s not true.”

    I think a good personal rule of thumb is to never really believe
    anything more than 50%. I like this. Especially the lies you tell yourself.

    To me, this makes common sense. 50% buy in is the max you want to give yourself because it’s almost impossible to find anything, any concept, idea, or
    principle that someone else hasn’t come along and shown the world how to
    transcend and take it to the next level with a distinction that helps
    understand it even better.

    There’s always another level. There’s always another side, no matter how thin you slice it. Never believe anything too much.

    When you only buy into something 50%, you leave room for doubt. And the people who doubt their excuses are people the world believes to BOSSUM- Boobs Out Ossum because they defy the odds, question their story and make the impossible, possible – Amelia Earhart, Edith Piaf, Isadora Duncan, Margaret Mead, fast forwarding all the way to today – Oprah Winfrey. 

    Thank you Erika for rising above your excuses and  to shine your love here. And now that you’ve accomplished this “doing” for the day, you’ve now earned a little me-time where you can indulge in your desire to eat Cheetos while watching porn with monster trucks in it and smear greasy orange cheese dust on all the right places. 🙂

  7. LB
    LB says:

    I like your post it is funny and inspiring, because those are two things I like to combine: humor and inspiration. 🙂  I was in the hospital earlier in the week and learned I can be the best “ME” possible.  It may divert a little from the “shut up and do it” attitude, but I think it can add to it.  Start out by just shutting up and doing it then know that it is OK to burn dinner, to fall on your ass and get your clothes wet, to not be perfect and be the best “You” you can be, because everyone is in different parts of their life and everyone does things differently.  Instead of bitching and moaning, look at your life and know this is your life and it is OK to be where you are, just don’t settle by complaining, bitching, moaning and making your life some other person’s (or something’s) fault. Take control. 🙂

  8. Jim Mitchem
    Jim Mitchem says:

    humans (Americans) are just born control freaks. the trick in life is acceptance. quit fighting. start looking around. breathing. that’s where living is. and i think it’s HQ’d in the Caribbean.  


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