This Post is Filled With Bullshit

post filled with BS

image via Creative Commons

 Having read more rah-rah posts at both the close and beginning of the year than my red head can handle, today’s missive will be devoid of a few things. Here’s what you won’t find in today’s post (with a h/t to Amber Naslund for her thoughts on “shipping”):

  • Requests to get on board
  • Directions leading to the outside of the box
  • Instructions or demands to ship anything (especially “it”)
  • Buzzwords used in context
  • Links to a Huffington Post article
  • Pictures of penguins
  • Lies other than the one included in the above bulletpoint
  • The use of the word “passion.”

What you might find, however, is that it’s filled with bullshit. Which is surprising, considering how much I loathe it.

I’m not good at bullshit. I suck at small talk. I’d rather sit in the passenger seat of a car and stare with wonder at the world around me than ask how my date feels about his mother. And while every conversation does not need to be of earth-shattering import, I believe that there’s entirely too much bullshit floating around in the ether.

The Taste and Smell

Yeah. You know it. Stringing people along. Avoiding difficult but definitive conversations. Things that should end, others that should begin. The time wasters. The jackwads. The shit you put up with, refuse to address, and then bitch about to your friends. Your money woes, your relationship turmoils, the dog crap you haven’t cleaned up in the backyard.

You can smell it from sixty-three paces. Sometimes we wake up with the taste of it in our mouths. We have sandwiches made of it for lunch.

You know what it smells and tastes like.

So you have a few choices.

Step Over It OR Step In It

I love shoes. Consequently, there is nothing more demoralizing than finding that I have inadvertently placed one in a position where it is adorned with a turd. And even though it’s recently come to light that I have a habit of leaving shoes neatly arranged next to the toilet, your shoes really don’t belong anywhere close to bullshit. Or the toilet. But at least mine are neatly arranged. I digress. We come to our choices:

Stepping in it: Is there a single one of you who can tell me that, faced with a steaming pile of bullshit that you’re going to deliberately make the move to submerse your shoes in it? Doubtful. Yet it’s something you do all the time. You piss and moan and then walk foot-first right into the motherfucker and then have the audacity to piss and moan about having stepped in it. THIS IS BULLSHIT. It is also bullshit on top of bullshit. Entirely too much bullshit.

Stepping over it: Ah, the logical choice, right? Yet one we seem to refuse to make more times than not. Stepping over the bullshit involves a few things. First, acknowledgement. This involves us being honest with ourselves, and frequently, with others. It’s not about hurting other people’s feelings or being an asshole. It’s about refusing to submerse one’s self in a pile that sits before us. But first, we have to acknowledge the pile instead of bitching about it and then acting all surprised when someone points it out to us (and most of the time, after it’s already all over our shoes). Secondly, it involves growing a pair. Stepping over the bullshit involves refusing to engage in situations that don’t serve us and waste our time. Your relationship, business, financial, and other woes? Bullshit. Stepping over it involves addressing the situation’s existence and then resolving it or refusing to engage, period.

Bullshit Controls Power

Bullshit is a quirky yet powerful little sonofabitch. It has the ability to rob you of power if you allow it, making you (or making yourself) feel helpless and fall victim to less-than-OMFGCrackalacka life experiences (thanks to @Merredith for the gift of the phrase “crackalacka”). On the other hand, bullshit has a sneaky little ability to empower you. There’s a metric ass ton of power derived from acknowledging, processing, and then dealing with the bullshit in your life. When you’re the one in control of your feet and stepping over and around the steaming piles the universe places in front of us during our time on this big blue bouncy ball, just think of what you can accomplish. And with that power comes a greater level of honesty.

Honesty with yourself. Your colleagues. Friends. Lovers. Partners. Hot baristas.

All those things we’re not supposed to say – we usually never do. And they’re the things that need to be said most. Why? Because they dispense with the bullshit. Not saying them? Well, that’s bullshit, too. The greatest gift I’ve given myself over the past 13 months is saying what I feel. Acknowledging and then stepping over the bullshit. And being even more honest with myself and using the presence of bullshit in my life for good instead of allowing it to capitalize on its inherently evil nature like that “friend” who always has a left-handed compliment that you seem to keep around for…no reason whatsoever.

So today, give it up for bullshit. A round of applause, if you will, to begin the New Year. We’ve shipped nothing, and that box? Fuck the box. I’ve never seen the box and really have no use for one that doesn’t contain a new pair of ski boots or faboo pair of pumps. And if you’ve gotten this far in the post, you’ve done something appreciable:

You’ve acknowledged the bullshit that fills this post. And you’re probably ready to do something about it.


I am asked to produce bullshit on a regular basis. Bullshit intended to cover oversights, mistakes, negligence, incompetence, errors, misreads, arrogance, inattention, ignorance, hubris, greed, laziness, and haste. I am tired of shoveling onto people as I am of it's regular removal from my own front stoop. I feel like a bit Agent Smith in The Matrix, perhaps the only of my kind to note my state and disgusted by it. Only there's no Keanu Reeves, so at least I have that going for me. Which is nice.

The Redhead
The Redhead

Oh, those are, indeed, faboo! And yes - I think it just might be a redhead thing :)

The Redhead
The Redhead

I try to avoid the shower-required-type BS, personally :) But hey - if it works for you!

Carol Hess
Carol Hess

Ahem -- Apparently I'm not such a good typist when I'm pissed off.  That last line should read, "Thanks for the opportunity to rant and not rah-rah." 

Carol Hess
Carol Hess

Great minds think alike, as in thinking about bullshit.  I just published a post about the bullshit of the weight loss industry.  So obvious at this time of year.  They are really jumping on board the rah-rah train.  Of course the only thing they are rah-rah about is making money.  Don't get me wrong.  I've got nothing against making money.  Absolutely nothing.  Just please don't hand me so much bullshit while you're doing it.  Okay.  I'm done now.  Thanks for the opportunity to ran and not rah-rah. 

Lindsay Bell
Lindsay Bell

Great post, I too hate the end of year lists and reflections resolutions and crap. BUT, I wanted to say that *while* reading, I couldn't stop thinking of the classic Cheech and Chong sketch: ever stoned outta their  gourds, they see something they think is dogshit. But they're not *entirely* sure it's dogshit. They proceed to smell, touch, taste, and talk about it. They determine that yes, it is dogshit - at which point one of them says: "Duuuude, you better not step in it!!" That is all. You made my afternoon. Cheers! 

Bill Dorman
Bill Dorman

I really don't have anything to add other than trying to keep my bullshit meter on at all times; but I do have a dog-do story that came to mind (since you happened to mention the shoe story; it doesn't take much to get me off-track as you can see). One of my partners, when we were the young guys around here, was taking a senior partner with him in his new car out to an account that he would be inheriting from said senior partner. They see the customer, get back in the car, when my partner detected the distinct aroma of dog shit. The senior partner has stepped in it and was now rubbing it around on the brand new carpet.  Say what? A story we laugh about today....... Yes, sometimes you can smell it a mile away. 

Kathy Drewien
Kathy Drewien

Here's a faboo pair of pumps for stepping over steaming piles! I have no time or energy for bullshit, so 2011 was filled with releasing people, places and things. Is it a redhead thing?