paris-hiltonI do not have the time to be furious with people I do not know and could thus, care less about. However, today I am making a brief exception.

They released Paris Hilton from jail after 5 days of a 45 day sentence and sent her home wearing an ankle bracelet (which she will undoubtedly have studded with Swarovski crystals by the end of the day).

I will venture to say that her “unspecified medical problem” stems from either:

reports of her not eating, in which case I say YAY DARWINISM and let the bitch starve;

reports of her being forced to detox … ah yes, I can sympathize, as I always find it tough to be separated from MY dope dealer/pill-pusher for 5 days(twitch-twitch).

Riddle me this, oh-blog-reading-public-at-large:

Do they have doctors in jail?

When Mr. I Killed My Entire Family With A Machete gets the flu, does he get sent home with a “You poor thing!” and an ankle bracelet? If Jeffrey Dahmer went on a hunger strike becuase he found prison food to be “icky,” would they cater-in seared ahi tuna with a wasabi glaze and baby bok choy?

That being said, please refer to Entitled, posted yesterday.

I’m sure we’ll receive more updates from the media as Paris unveils plans for the Bracelet Bash of 2007. However, at this juncture, I remain with my jaw gaping in awe that our penal system can apply pity to a selfish little celebutante who refuses to eat while in jail after doing a bad, bad thing (like getting a DUI, having her license suspended, and then driving without a license and being busted for it).

Bad girl … no biscuit. (or rather: bad girl, no TEA and biscuits).