And in all honesty, it was the first good day I’ve had in a very long time.
Maybe you remember one of my more recent posts, Making Space, where I talked about priorities. I’ve been in go-go-go mode since February (when this new site launched) and I’ve been a bit of an asshole to myself in the process.
I got into yet another (albeit, short lived) relationship thing with someone who wasn’t showing up. I ended it. It felt shitty.
I’ve glazed over multiple opportunities to get out of town and do something for me, traveling only for business on in-and-out schedules that would have me fire my travel agent if my travel agent weren’t me.
I’ve spent days on end working at home, shunning daylight and humans. This happens with introverts. I think, “Fuck, I am isolated” so many times a week yet I do fuckall about it.
This past weekend, I’d made plans to take my first downhill mountain biking trip of the season. It’s something I love and I can only describe it as bike-flavored meth (without all that nasty shit happening to your teeth and family). On Saturday, however, I found myself dialing the resort and seeing if I could move my equipment reservation to July 4th weekend.
I had so much work to do. So very much work…I couldn’t even see taking a day off to drive 3 hours round trip to do something I loved.
Well, it seemed that the universe was on my side — I got an answering machine at the resort (oh haiii, 1993 — your customer service model called). Looked like it was:
- find a way to get enough shit done where I didn’t think about work all day long if I went to ride, or
- stay home, lose $150, and be pissed about it.
So, here’s a guide that I wrote to help anyone else who’s having a hard time finding a good day….have a GREAT day:
- Wallow over your work load at home over a beer and some unhealthy food item. You know, the food item you’re eating because the only time you left the house that day was to obtain said food item because you’re so fucking busy. You think that no one knows that you have this toxic food item, when the truth is that everyone knows and the only effort you made to obtain it was rolling down your driver’s side window. (Lemme know if I’m hitting too close to home.)
- Find the phone number required to cancel those plans you made. You know, the plans well outside most normal human beings’ work hours (like weekends or after 6pm on a weekday). Keep it handy.
- Rehearse what you’ll say when you call your friend who’s going with you to said plans. You know, the friend you invited when you initiated making those plans. It really helps to imagine the conversation your friend will have with his or her significant other when you pull your patented Too Much Work cancellation move. You also know exactly the conversation I’m talking about, as it’s the one that comes after the email, text or call where they say, “That’s a total bummer! No sweat, yeah, sorry you can’t make it.” It sounds like this, “You owe me $20.” By this point, you’ve become a self-fulfilling (and flaky) prophecy.
- Stop wallowing, don’t dial, and quit having those useless conversations in your head. Go the fuck to sleep, wake up, and do what you planned on doing.
- Have a great fucking day. As a supplemental strategy, I can also recommend beer and looking at cute guys in their full body armor.
Why I wrote this post
It’s not to lament about how shitty my life is — because it’s really anything but. I wrote it because I know you do the same thing. You’re party to the same self-defeating cycle of I CAN’T BECAUSE (fill in the blank). I own my own business because it’s my MUST — I can’t imagine doing anything else with my life. I mean, unless Robin Thicke somehow becomes something I can do in my life, which is unlikely but should that be the case, I still won’t quit my gig but I will make time for Afternoon Delight.
But I digress.
When’s the last time you cancelled living because you had too much work?
Boo-fucking-hoo, buttercup. That’s a fine way to cancel out the reasons you even work in the first place.
So — what’s it going to be:
- Declarations that you’re neck-deep in ambition but knee-deep in bandwidth (something I actually texted to a dear friend last week when she asked how I was doing), or
The only way to have a great day — one that makes your spleen smile — is to face what you don’t want to face: you’re a bit of an asshole to yourself and and could rationalize the stripes off a tiger.
I needed a reminder of what life looks like when I take the time to live it. That’s why I had a good day this weekend. I spent five hours riding up ski lifts and bombing downhill on a bike while covered in full body armor. Who the fuck thinks that’s living?
And the best part? When I got home that evening, I was actually amped to finish up a few projects before calling it a day.
Stop being an asshole.
Stop thinking that it’s okay to make excuses if you’re using “work” as the excuse.
Go find your version of “fuck yeah” and saddle that bitch up like a capybara and ride, motherfucker, ride.
I had a great day on Sunday — and when you find yourself tearing up because you actually broke down and let yourself have some fun…that’s a pretty good indication that some shit somewhere needs to change. And dollface, the only one who’s gonna change it?
You. Or that capybara. But my money’s on you.
PS: I should never have started googling images of caybaras. POPSICLE.