This year, I’m writing 30 blog posts in 30 days to celebrate my impending 43rd year on this planet. Thank Christ I don’t look a day over 42. If you’re stranded in line at the Social Security office, you can find this year’s Hard Truth archives here.
First and foremost, everyone should have a sexy gopher picture of one’s self.
Secondly, today’s Hard Truth is short and sweet: sometimes your opinion doesn’t matter.
Since the beginning of time, two things have been true:
1) We will not all like the same things.
2) There will always be One Intelligent Citizen — a purposeful purveyor of truth — who will tell you everything that they don’t fucking like.
So, let me tell you a story about a gopher face picture and One Intelligent Citizen.
Back in November, I’d posted some photos from my most recent headshot session to Facebook. My headshot photographer (Chris Popio — UH. MAZE. ZING.) always has the shutter clicking and captured some dorkalicious shots that are probably more “me” than any pretty photo I’ll ever take. By and large, everyone loved the gopher face (in the blog image above). I ultimately made the plbbbfffttttt face from that set my brand’s profile image on Facebook (Do you hang with us on Facebook? You might wanna — it’s a wonderfully hilarious, intelligent and respectful community — srsly. Join us here.).
And fun was had by all.
Except the One Intelligent Citizen. The One Intelligent Citizen sent me this message via the contact form on my website:
Funny. The same thing happened awhile back when I posted another picture that was less “glam.”
First, I’m delighted to be in such company as the Danielle LaPortes, Mark Mansons, and Elizabeth Gilberts of the world. Thank you, thank you. (Why the hell did I make their names plural?)
Secondly, One Intelligent Citizen, your opinion doesn’t matter.
I know you’re trying to be helpful (aren’t you?).
But your opinion doesn’t fucking matter.
Because it’s MY gopher face and it makes me laugh and how many people have the balls to post a ridiculous picture in a world where we are in desperate NEED of more ridiculous pictures and fewer airbrushed supermodels?
Your opinion doesn’t matter.
Just like my opinion about that shirt you’re wearing today doesn’t matter. Because it’s not my shirt and I wouldn’t have had any say in your wardrobe anyway.
Just like what I think about that holy-shit-is-that-floral? sofa in the middle of your living room with the wooden ducks and chickens hanging on your wall doesn’t matter. Because it’s not my house and I wouldn’t have had a say in how you decorate the fucker anyway.
YOU as a human being always matter but sometimes your opinion DOES NOT and all you’re doing is not contributing to a conversation.
Like most internet comments.
Like everyone who stopped by when I posted a ballsy image of Amy Schumer on Monday and decided to share that they think she’s fat or a pig or not funny or you didn’t like her anyways and so you don’t like the photo and don’t understand why she’s getting all this attention and…
AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Just stop talking.
Your opinion doesn’t matter.
And here’s the problem — the majority of “news” sites have made you think that your opinion DOES matter. They posts links on Facebook and that’s a floodgate for everyone and their opinions. Those comment sections — on Facebook and on their “news” sites — go largely unmoderated and the trolls overpower the voices of reason.
They’re getting clicks and pages hits and why the fuck should they care that the comments section is beginning to resemble the urinal wall of a men’s bathroom at a seedy strip joint* in town you never (ever) want to visit again?
*Also: Nothing wrong with seedy strip joints. Nothing at all.
So, I’ve come up with a handy guide to help you determine if your opinion matters on the Internet. Use liberally. Share with friends. Because YOU matter — but sometimes your opinion does not.
And that’s why I moderate my comments. Everywhere. See, I don’t care if you disagree with me or even another commentator. I do, however, insist that you do it respectfully. I also have zero fucking tolerance for people who want to leave little hate turds in my comments section. So those get deleted, too.
Because it’s my house. And no one shits on the rug — or on anyone — in my house.
Enjoy the infographic. It’s a hard truth to swallow that when it’s so easy to share one’s opinion (on everything) these days, that we all need to take a step back and realize…hey — it probably doesn’t matter.
Want to share? It’s easy. Hover over the image for sharing options.