Hard Truths 31: New Years Resolutions Can Kiss My Lily White Ass

Hey there — this post is the continuation of a series I wrote called 41 Years in 30 Days that ended yesterday, December 31, 2014. I started and can’t stop so today is post #31 and if you want, you can read all the stuff I wrote here. Because you’re a little bit hungover. Yeah you are. Happy New Year.

Pretty sure that the first sound I heard this morning was a neighbor puking in the building courtyard.

So there’s that.

My friend Jodi is fast asleep in the next room and I’m wide awake. There are three days until I take my first vacation of 6 years and fuck off to Mexico for 5 completely unplugged days.

And today, January 1st, is apparently the day where ALL OF THE THINGS WILL CHANGE.

First, Happy New Year!

Secondly, shut up. Just…shut. UP.

January 1st isn’t a square-shaped unicorn. It’s not the Ark of the Covenant and Indiana Jones won’t be dashing out with his whip in celebration for having found it (January 1st) once again after having it stolen from him by men who do dirty deeds (and cheap).

Hard Truths 31 resolutions

I haven’t made a New Years Resolution in years because they can kiss my ass.

A resolution won’t get me to the gym…

Keep the entire piece of chocolate cake from going into my mouth.

Make me swear less (seriously?).

Find me my love.

Improve my business.

A resolution won’t do any of those things.

I will.

See, a resolution has no power until I’M behind it.

And your resolutions have no power until YOU are behind them.

That’s why my ass is just waiting for that sweet, soft kiss laced with a hangover from every New Years Resolution everywhere.

Because I’m the most important person in any resolution, which means I don’t need resolutions because I already have ME.

The second part of inviting resolutions to kiss it is change versus transformation.

Look at your living room.

The sofa.

Now, move that sofa from where it is to up against that far wall over there. Yep.

That looks better, doesn’t it?

That’s change.

Now, look at the sofa. Why do you have that sofa? Is it comfortable? Do you love it? Does it make you feel relazed when you sink into it? CAN you sink into it? Did it look better in the pictures than it does in your home? Do you need the sofa? Is it time for a new sofa?

Answer those questions. Find the WHY behind the sofa.

Maybe the problem isn’t the sofa. Maybe it’s the whole goddamned living room. Hell, maybe it’s the house.

See — moving the sofa is change.

Understanding the WHY behind the sofa — whether it has a place in your life or whether you’d be better served by something else (and somewhere else) is transformation.

It’s why diets fail.

Why you stop going to the gym three weeks into January (beacuse bullshit, bullshit, and bullshit and LIFE and THINGS and so cold and tired).

Because you changed something. You didn’t transform it.

You didn’t invest in the WHY. And you certainly didn’t make that WHY a priority.

So today, to usher in the New Year, make two lists.

The first, a list of things you want to leave behind in 2014. We’ll call this list BULLSHIT.

The second, a list of things your want to invite into your life in 2015. We’ll call this list GOOD SHIT.

Make the lists. And now, put them where you can see them. Every day.

Put the BULLSHIT list BEHIND the GOOD SHIT list so you can’t see it.

And I mean every fucking day. If you travel, they go in your carry on (because checked baggage gets lost and delayed and carry on is pretty safe unless you’re on that plane from LOST but let’s not think about that).

And each day, look at the GOOD SHIT LIST and ask yourself, “What can I do today to get one step closer to having ONE of the things on my GOOD SHIT list?”

ONE step. Towards ONE thing. That’s it.

When you’re having a day where the devil himself would use it to write his name in the snow, sneak a peek at your BULLSHIT list.

Odds are, the reason for your bullshit day is because you let in something from your BULLSHIT list.

We carry so much with us from year to year that doesn’t serve us or even in many cases belong to us.

This year, I invite you — no, I dare you — to put CHANGE on your BULLSHIT list and put TRANSFORMATION on your GOOD SHIT list.

Because all change can do is move that bullshit, the stuff and people and behaviors that weigh you down and keep you from all of the things and feelings and goals you resolve to attain, around.

Transformation…oh, sweet little chocolate baby Jesus…that’s what moved the bullshit out of your life and makes room for all of that GOOD SHIT that you, precious.

You deserve.

Happy New Year, my loves — as each of you are my loves. Here’s to not just a year, but a lifetime ahead filled with hedgehogs and puppies and brave loves and courageous losses and incredibly powerful lessons hard-learned. Children’s laughter and divine coffee brewed from your machine of choice (cough NESPRESSO) alongside winning teams and broken hearts. May you find corners you can’t see around, minds you can’t read, boxes you can’t open, and challenges you never thought you’d face.

May you quit rearranging the sofa in the living room of your life.

And through it all, may you find that you didn’t need a fucking “resolution” to get you through any of it because you already have everything you need (your YOU) to shed the bullshit and make the stuff you put on your GOOD SHIT list more reality than dream.

or if you’re feelin’ saucy:

5 comments
EvoletYvaine
EvoletYvaine

I also think that quote you have in the picture should be tweetable. I like it!

BrianWooley
BrianWooley

Nice to see the use of the "you-deserve" idea. I try to reinforce that in myself and others as often as I can; you're not lucky to have your great life... you deserve it. :)

EvoletYvaine
EvoletYvaine

The GOOD SHIT list makes so much more sense than New Year's Resolutions!

michturpcoach
michturpcoach

Open on my computer now: this post AND... IKEA - because I'm looking for a new sofa. No shit. Happy New Year Erika, your voice is doing great things for my voice. And I know my voice will do good for others. One thing in this post made me laugh out loud other than the actual real life thinking long and hard about this sofa of mine... remember, you told us not to Shut Up!! With love and gratitude - have an amazing vacay.