After last Monday’s post filled with Facebook shenanigans, I guess I should have suspected that said shenanigans would continue until I got around to purging my friends list. I’ve been busy. Living. Working. Haven’t done that shit yet. And well, here’s the tasty nugget I woke up to in my Facebook Messages inbox on Monday morning:
Here’s a slow motion replay of my reactions:
- WHO is this?
- HOW is this guy a Facebook friend since I don’t know who he is?
- WHAT on earth is this dude talking about?
- Thanks for insulting me and determining of what I am worthy. Saves me the time and effort. Cause apparently, I’m a BITCH. A bitch who has NO idea what you’re talking about.
So, owning the fact that I’m a complete, disrespectful Evil Lady Who Ignores Facebook Messages – especially ones from people I don’t know who are apparently (and unbeknownst to me) interested in me in some sort of social/romantic manner – I decided to dig into the issue.
As The Facebook Turns – No More Message Notifications
Since Facebook went through its gazillionth change in the past year, I found myself not receiving any notifications of messages and few relating to comments. I was actually pretty delighted for the decreased email volume. So, to see what Mr. Disgruntled was talking about, I took my Evil Lady Who Ignores Facebook Messages self over to Facebook.
Here’s what I see, probably like you when I click on my Messages icon:
I don’t know about you, but I see FIVE messages. If they appear to be unread, I click through and read the unread messages from this window. Given that I can receive up to 20 Facebook messages a day on occasion, if you’re not showing up in this “fast five,” I ain’t gonna see ya.
I scrolled up Mr. Disguntled’s message feed to me and, indeed, he had asked me on November 28 if I’d like to go grab coffee sometime. Prior to that, we’d even shared a 4 or 5 line Facebook chat conversation in early November regarding…the weather. Given that I am ice cube-chance-in-hell visible on Chat, it’s not surprising that I’d forgotten about this exchange. So yeah – he’d asked me to coffee. Sent me a few links. None of which I’d seen. He happened to be friends with a few of my close friends here in Denver, which could explain why he got through my Firewall of Friendship.
But more importantly – how many other messages was Facebook hiding from me with their new notification system?!
Digging Deeper – The “Others”
So, I posted something on my PERSONAL Facebook wall about not getting message and comment notifications and my dear friend Colleen chimed in with – ummm…do you know about “Other” messages?
I’m like – what OTHER messages?
And she showed me. Just like I’m going to show you.
Go to your Home Page on Facebook. Click on Messages in the left hand sidebar. When you do that, something mysterious happens…you’re introduced to The Others.
When I clicked on that Monday morning, I had 58 messages swimming around in there. People I’ve shown this trick over the past two days have had numbers ranging from the 20s to over 100, and some dating back to the beginning of the year.
Now, if you’re running a brand page and trying to figure out why responses to your Events are down, this is why. Most brand page events go into The Others folder, just like the shitty movie starring Nicole Kidman goes into the bargain bin of DVDs at the grocery store. (Who buys DVDs at the grocery store anyways?)
In those Other messages were notes from readers of my blog and invitations to events that I would have really liked to have attended. (There was also the unread/unseen invitation to join the gentleman above for coffee.)
How could I stop these messages from going into Facebook’s sneaky, inconvenient Information Purgatory in the future?
The Answer: Reclaim Your Facebook Notifications
If I’m going to have passive-agressive missives flung in my direction, I want to be fully in control and conscious of the behavior that’s inspiring said missives. I also want to be participating, dammit. So I went into the Facebook Account Settings and I’m going to guide YOU through how to get those Message and other notifications back that Facebook mysteriously took away.
Step #1: Top Right Hand Side of Your Facebook Page
Step #2: Top Left Hand Side of the Next Page
Step #3: UNCHECK THIS DAMN BOX!
Step #4: Set Your Notifications
Scroll down the page until you see the Notifications section. You can click on each of the headings (Facebook – where you’ll find your Message notifications – is shown here) and set up the type of emails you want to receive.
No More Hide-And-Seek With Facebook Messages!
So, it would appear that I’m not necessarily the Evil Lady Who Ignores Facebook Messages after all. Facebook’s bogarted all of our notification settings and it’s up to us to reclaim them. And The Others? Hells bells. Go ahead and tell me how many messages you have in your Others folder. I have a nifty, wintery prize for the person with the most! Caveat: you have to upload a screen shot showing your profile name AND the message bubble to the right side of the Others line.
Now, this weekend, I’ll be doing that (apparently) much-needed Facebook Friends purge, as one of my true friends would have rattled my cage in other ways if I’d been ignoring them, as they’d know it was completely inadvertent. And for the record, the gentleman in question appears to have blocked me on Facebook, so I couldn’t even send him a message explaining the scenario.
The next time you assume someone is ignoring you, one of two things is most certainly true:
Option 1: They are ignoring your messages.
Option 2: They’re victim to Facebook’s definition of “important” and really have no fucking clue that you dropped them a line.
In my case? Option 2 prevailed.
Happy Facebook Notifications Reclamation Day!