Finding the Real-Life LOVE Button

I won’t lie. This year has held some incredible gut punches for me. From the person that somehow ended up elected President to the loss of a laundry list of artists who helped me figure out who I was growing up (and kept me company through the assorted and sundry bullshit that is adulthood) to the realization that our civil rights movement isn’t very civil at all.

It all breaks my heart.

And here’s the thing: I care two shits about who you voted for. But I do give a shit about what you’re going to DO for the next four years.

And what I hope is that you spend less time on Facebook and more time in life.

Here I am posting a blog that will end up on Facebook in its entirety because apparently people don’t click through anymore. Which is cool. I bend to where my audience lives, not the other way around. And I’m posting it because I write for a living. I create. And without you seeing and liking and loving and sharing what I create, I’m pretty much fucked.

But I still hope you spend more time in real life in the years to come than on Facebook.

Because what we really need to find is the LOVE button in real life.

It needs to become as simple and second-natured for us to extend love to our fellow humans as it is to hit a button on Facebook. And that’s hard — because it requires time and effort and not merely a click. But let me ask: If it was that easy to do on Facebook (or even Instagram) — y’know, hit the like or LOVE button, did you really like or love it in the first place?

There’s an action that comes after liking or loving something, or even coming across a story or post that makes you search for that red faced ANGRY button:

DO something.

And in real life, we CAN do something.

When we see injustice, we can speak out against it and not let it pass idly by.

When we see need, we can lend a hand. No matter where we’re each at, we all have something to give.

When we read a news story that breaks hearts and raises bile, we can share it far and wide — and begin to ask what role we’ve played in how this story even became one that had to be told.

Because the truth of it all is: IT ALL MATTERS. To you and me. All of it.

Feminism is a ladder, not a weapon.

Women’s rights are human rights.

Police brutality affects you, your neighborhood, your city, and state.

Syrian refugees are running for their lives.

It all matters.

And the actions that matter most won’t happen on Facebook. They’ll happen in your heart when you find the love button in real life. When you DO SOMETHING to push that love button for another human being. For their god. Because their good is your good.

And yes, there will always be shitty people in the world.

But you don’t have to be one of them.

As life is not a zero sum game. I spent a great many years living as if it were. Someone else’s win, next breath, next meal isn’t taking from you. It’s giving.

And if we spent as much time giving in real life as we did pressing the fucking like and love button on Facebook, our world would be a place we’d be much prouder waking up to each day.

Basically, we can all fix this by NOT being emoticon-clicking assholes and putting all that energy into acting.



And doing with love.

So in the years to come, I’m inviting you to fuck me by liking and loving my posts less. DO something. Share them. Add a comment. Share your thoughts. Give them a longer life in this world than the six minutes you spend reading them.

And do this for everything you come across that you LIKE or LOVE.


Share with your people and friends. Sharing what you like and love helps you find hearts, souls, and viewpoints you didn’t even know existed. Sharing something you love just might bring you the love you’ve long been wanting, as they’ll see your weird matching theirs and ask to have coffee with your weird.


Your heart. Your time. Your lunch. Your skills. That to-go bag you don’t really want but someone else needs. That news article that ripped you to your core. A picture that made you feel ______. A story that made you feel worthy. Your precious cash to pay for real journalists to do real investigative reporting, not the listicle and regurgitated, sensationalized crap we’ve come to accept as “news.”

Share your YOU.

I mean, what would happen if we hit the LOVE button as many times in real life as we do online?!

Because I have a feeling that in the year(s) to come, we’re going to be reminded of how often we forget about love.

And how often it should be the first thing we use to fuel, create, empower, decide, guide, debate, wrestle, unite, and otherwise lay waste to everything that’s fueled by the very opposite.

And how if we use it for this many things, we’re going to need A LOT more of it.

Find your Love button in real life, my friends. Press it. Relentlessly.

Love spreads. Love is contagious. Love heals and brings hope and is the only antidote known to hate. It un-fucks a bad day and gives you fucks when you thought you’d run flat-out.

Love is powerful and deep and both a duty and delight we face each and every day. And on day 30 of my 30 posts in 30 day, I ask you:

What do you love — and what will you do for it?

I’ll see you in the New Year, filled with love and fucks ready to lift up, add light to, and send hope to any soul that’s needing.

And even a few that aren’t.

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