Every day, I look in the mirror and there’s something about me that’s not good enough.
My hips. My stomach. My hakuna matata early morning hair. These lines around my eyes that have cropped up from somewhere in the past two years. My ass. My short legs. The fact that with every passing year, my belly button looks more like a cyclops squinting than a place that once connected me to life.
Today’s hard truth is that the above is never going to stop.
I’m never going to stop wondering if I’m good enough. And that’s okay.
Because I’ve fallen in love with a question: Is this good enough?
The bottom line of it all is that everything I see in the mirror each day is good enough, but it might not be good enough for me. I know I can do better.
I know I can eat one less cookie. I can shovel one less Panettone cake into my mouth (and curse the woman who introduced me to this divine confection — curse her). I can have 3 pieces less candy and can do 30 more minutes of cardio.
Those are things that I can do. But the most important thing — for me — is that I want to do them.
I want to do those things because they are worth it to me.
And asking the question, “Is this good enough?” keeps me from getting lazy.
That question turns my 140-pound ass into a 125-pound ass.
That question turns this website and brand from where it is today into the next better version of itself.
That question always helps me do right by the man I love, asking whether I can be better for him and to him.
That question makes me look at the country I live in and get my ass out to vote.
That question makes me sit down and write what needs writing.
That question makes me re-evaluate biases I didn’t even know that I had and helps me see the world in a different way.
That question…well, it is THE question.
I don’t know about you, but I have one helluva to-do list and it only keeps getting longer. The only way something makes it OFF my to-do list is when the situation becomes NO LONGER ACCEPTABLE.
Asking, “Is this enough?” gives me the chance to say NO. And I only say NO when something is NO LONGER ACCEPTABLE.
And when something is NO LONGER ACCEPTABLE, we get shit done because we can’t not do it anymore.
But yeah, there’s a trap. I fall into it when I look at everything and think for some dumb fucking reason that nothing is enough. Nothing is acceptable. Everything needs changing, from the size of my ass to the size of my bank account to the time I spend working to…
And when that happens, I know I’M the problem. That there’s something in my life telling me I’m not good enough and that shit needs to calm the hell down.
Maybe it’s a toxic friend (they creep in at the most unexpected times).
Maybe it’s a client who’s driving me up the wall.
Maybe it’s a partner who’s become more of an adversary.
Whatever it is, it’s completely fixable.
But asking whether what lies before you is enough — hell, we’ve all heard it.
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
But at certain times, what we’re doing might not be enough.
And it’s okay to ask. To challenge yourself. To confront what you believe head-on and see if you could be doing better — and not just more.
And what I’ll say is that it’s worked for 11 pounds off my ass so far.
It’s worked for the redesign of my website — which will be launching in March (and I can hardly wait).
It’s worked for keeping my relationship with Clark Kent moving forward — because god knows I’m supremely talented at fucking things in the heart department up.
It’s worked for getting me off my ass and making me dive into writing my one-woman show.
It’s worked for my clients — who realized they were doing what they SHOULD be doing instead of what they WANT to be doing.
It’s just…well, it’s worked.
So today, ask yourself, “Is this enough?”
And if the answer is no, then ask why.
And then ask whether you’re willing to do something about it.
Because the god’s honest truth is that we’re all ready and able.
Willing is usually where we shit the bed.
or for the SFW crowd:
If you’re enjoying these posts, you can read the entire 42 years in 30 days archive here. And you thought there was nothing to do while you wait on hold for customer service to pick up your call while there are 17 people in front of you in the call queue…tsk-tsk.