Talk Thirty to Me: Kinda Dirty, Really Awesome (an Interview)

Talk thirty to me dick graph

Image ripped-off from without shame

Sometimes I find shit that makes me laaaaaaaaaaugh. At this past Ignite Denver, I did just that. Two spry souls bounded up to the stage and had me at “umm, hellooo – is that a dick slide?” The slide featured on the right side of this post is but a piece of their inherent hilarity. I shuffled over and asked theVar if they’d give me an interview. He agreed. I asked. They got snarky. Fucking LOVE it. So today, enjoy an introduction to Talk Thirty to Me – a lotta angst, kinda dirty and a site that should totally be on your radar whether you’re 23 (and I hate you if you are) or 73 (while that’s a little pervy, I’m sure you’ll enjoy the content).

Well, I found TalkThirtytoMe at Ignite Denver. You knocked my socks off. Can you tell me if I was wearing socks the night you met me or am I full of shit?

theVar: We’d be inclined to say you’re full shit.
Sport: However, we were ON that night and your socks were neither here nor there, but I bet they were cute if you were wearing them.

The Redhead: Sport – nice save. Yet theVar has me pegged. #idontlikesocks but if I do wear them, they are ridiculous AND super cute!


What was the inspiration for TalkThirtytoMe?

theVar: An overwhelming sense of pending doom! Dramatic much?
Sport: On our 30th birthdays we didn’t get instruction manuals. I found myself vomiting in the bathroom of a strip club.
theVar: What 30th birthday? I only remember that 5th shot of tequila.
The Redhead: One of the things I loved so much about TalkThirtytoMe is that the thoughts shared are DIVERSE. It’s not all pissy and whiny. It’s a collection of cool shit mixed with cubicle angst with a snarky side of “fuck off.” If you keep coming back to RedheadWriting for more than my Free Mimosas on Sundays promo over at my Facebook Fan Page, I’ll bet you’ll snort your morning oatmeal out your nose at some of the content the theVar and Sport have assembled.


Is thirty really dirty? If so, will it come out in the wash with a mild detergent or should you use bleach?

Sport: Have you heard the Cold War Kids song Hang Me out to Dry? It ain’t no joke!
theVar: You tell me. Did you not read Dirty Thirty: Diddle or Dirty Thirty: Porn or any of the Dirty Thirty posts? Come on Redhead Writing. You’re killing me smalls.
Sport: BTW, bleach is bad for the environment. You should be using a soy-based detergent. Ecos has fabric softener built-in.

The Redhead: This is an excellent eco-living tip. Here’s a link to Ecos for those inclined to add it to their cart at Whole Foods.


How many licks do you think it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

Sport: 30, of course.
theVar: I don’t know, I like to nibble.
Sport: Oooo, snappities!

The Redhead: I have nothing to add.


Should 29-year-olds and 40-year-olds read your site?

theVar: Ya’ damn right!
Sport: Ya’ god damn right! Our wedding porn post was written by a 27-year-old. The numbers 3-0 aren’t exclusive for just us.
theVar: I somewhat agree with Sport. I say somewhat because this is a community for 30-something year olds: for us to share in the experience of living in our 30s. I, personally, feel that I’m at a juncture where there’s more commonality for me with other 30-something-year-olds than 20-something or 40-something-year-olds. Nonetheless, we are here to build a community, and I think I speak for both Sport and I when I say community is always inclusive.

The Redhead: Brilliantly stated. Pop over to TalkThirtytoMe’s Facebook fan page as well and show them some love. You can also stay in the look on Twitter by following TalkThirtytoMe and theVar and Sport individually. I don’t think Captain Falcon Punch has a Twitter account.


The night I met you at Ignite Denver, theVar was wearing a shirt that said “Legalize Gay.” What would you do if it were legal to be gay? Part II, what would you do if it were legal to be gay in a state like Mississippi? Part III, since it’s technically legal to be gay, what would you do if it weren’t legal to be gay (details, please)?

Sport: I feel like this is you, baby (to theVar).
theVar: Honestly, I can’t tell ya. It’s legal to be me. I’m gay. So fuck the world. Don’t ask me for shit! On the Mississippi question, I’d bake them cupcakes and tell them Unicorns love them, too. In all seriousness, Redhead, let’s not deviate from the message the shirt was conveying with precision. Everything is up for interpretation, but for all intent and purpose, we’ll define my t-shirt quote as equality.  I hope as a woman you can appreciate the feminist tones backing the notion of equality. I wear that t-shirt as a sign of solidarity that all of us deserve equality–the same rights.

The Redhead: I’m all over the unicorns and cupcakes! Hells yeah. Having grown up in the South, they are in desperate need of both, so thanks for the hypothetical mystical bake sale. On another note, the TalkThirtytoMe crew should check out The Redhead’s column that ran on – Dear Redhead. She blogged often and loudly on the issue of equality and even told Andy Pugno (lead counsel on the Prop 8 atrocity) to suck it along with a post that drove a heated debate over the potential, much-needed end to Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. I adored the shirt, which is why I had to mention it. Snappities!


Sport, you write an ongoing feature called The Broke Files. Are the files actually broken or is this actually about money or something?

Sport: It’s not the files that are broken, dear Redhead. That would be my bank account. Period! Next question.

The Redhead: For those who haven’t popped over to TalkThirtytoMe, The Broke Files are an ongoing feature where Sport discusses money woes (and with all due hilarity). Whether your’re a solopreneur who’s wondering when Client A is going to finally pay their 45-day late invoice or a Jane-Thirties contemplating her financial ship coming it, you’re assured a snicker and a “awwww, you’re not the only one who’s broke” hug. theVar even penned a cool list of things to do out on the town when your debit card ain’t gonna debit anything. Check it. Just go to the site and do a search for “Broke Files” in the top search function.


Would either of you date a broke man if he looked like Clive Owen and had abs like Matthew McConnaughey?

In Unison: Pass!
Sport: See June 28th, But What if She Ain’t Having It.

The Redhead: Read the post above. That is all.


It’s rumored that you accept guest post submissions. If one of my readers wants to send you something from their dirty thirties, how would they do that?

Sport: WTF, dude? We have a submission tab on the blog. Do you remember how long it took us to write the copy for that (at theVar)?
theVar: Seems like we need a Dr. Phil moment for someone.  Redhead, you readers can send their submissions to We would love to hear how their 30s are miserable, fabulous, or just fucked up.

The Redhead: So, sometimes I ask stupid questions to give my readers an answer they wouldn’t have unless they visited your site. Hence, the obvious question about submissions. A ton of bloggers and writers read RedheadWriting, so I was trying to tee-up some low-hanging fruit. Submissions tab or no, know they know. And we’ve had our own little PSA here at RedheadWriting.


Tell me – just between us kids: is Captain Falcon Punch single?

Sport: We’d tell you; then we’d have to kill you. Do you want to die?
theVar: bwahahahaha. I’m not going to jail for you, Sport. I’d be prime suspect number 1!

The Redhead: I sense conspiracy. Then again, my entire 30s have seemed like a conspiracy so what’s new?

Can everyone give it up for theVar and Sport for humoring The Redhead with nonsensical questions? If you missed their presentation at Ignite Denver, be sure to look for it on YouTube. More importantly, stop by TalkThirtyToMe and check out a few gems that are currently at the top of my faves…and maybe use that OMFG Submissions tab and send them a story of your own. I mingle and drink with a ton of my readers. If you don’t start telling your stories, I will.

From the Broke Files

My Wobbly Bits and What He Thinks of Them

How to Live Like a Crazy Cat Lady



  1. […] now, the offending article. Afterwards, head back over to Talk Thirty to Me to cleanse your mind. window.fbAsyncInit = […]

  2. […] and Shit You Need to Know filed under Blogging, Guest Bloggers ShareA few weeks ago, I interviewed the brilliant minds behind TalkThirtytoMe. They were snarky, sassy and smart – and they “ring true.” […]