The Bitch Slap: Act Like You Need to Earn It

Earn it, bitch.At 10:30am MST today, Redhead Writing will close for the remainder of the day. I’m headed downtown to pick up my friend, Vera, and then driving to Colorado Springs to attend a memorial service for a man I referred to in Monday’s post as ‘Vibrant.’

It’s a rare thing in life when we get second chances – to say things, do things, BE things. I’m still toiling over the fact that I can’t remember if I happened to tell Vibrant “bye” when he left our training session at the velodrome a week ago Saturday. But I do very distinctly remember the quality of every conversation we ever shared during the short time I was lucky enough to know him.

When you speak, when you act – do so like you have to earn it. And by “it,” I mean the person on the other side. It’s unfathomable, but you really may not have a second chance for your words, actions and intentions to be interpreted. We think we’re being clear, kind, grateful. You think the other person is being an asshole. It’s all in the interpretation. We’re all guilty as charged – myself included, having ended a professional relationship with a firm whose work is…breathtaking…yet whose communication style simply wasn’t a fit for me or my clients.

You’ve been slapped – earn it, people. When you treat your clients, friends and lovers as if you’re consistently re-earning their business and value their place in your life, both sides win. You might even find they begin treating you the same way. And it’s not about jumping through hoops or following the bouncing ball of expectations. I have four reasonable expectations of anyone with whom I do business:

Step back.

Think.

Offer solutions.

Approach with kindness.

Wash-rinse-repeat. I think those are pretty good steps for my personal life, too, and how I try to handle my friends and other relationships.

Maybe you’ll find those four things useful as well. Now – go earn it.

13 comments
The Redhead
The Redhead

Thanks for stopping by, Dave. Second chances? Gifts, not gimmes. Methinks, at least.

Dave Sohnchen
Dave Sohnchen

How different would our lives be if we didn't count on second chances. Thanks for the reminder that we're not entitled to them. I'm going to start viewing every opportunity and every encounter as if there won't be another. Love your stuff

Eric
Eric

Haha yeah. Thanks for the reply.

The Redhead
The Redhead

Well, thanks Dr. David! Thanks for stopping by today :)

The Redhead
The Redhead

Right on. If you're not going to grab life by the balls, it's likely you'll find someone's grabbed yours. And not in the "Wow, this is a REALLY good date!" way.

Eric
Eric

This is a great and simple message to so many people. Know you deserve the best and go after it because it's all you've got! :)

The Redhead
The Redhead

Hugs back atcha, Shawn. Lovely of you to say so.

WickedShawn
WickedShawn

So simple, yet so easily forgotten. Strength to you today, my dear.

Liz S
Liz S

Thanks for the reminder. That. Is. All.