I had a lunch date the other day — a first date, typical get-to-know-you conversation being flung back and forth over the table. At one point during the hour, he asked me: So, you seem to live a pretty “out there” kind of life. Anything you’re ashamed of?
In all honesty, I can’t remember the last time I thought about Things I Was Ashamed Of. Or, for the grammar and usage hounds out there, Thing Of Which I Am Ashamed.
First of all: Gents — if this question is in your current Dating Conversation Repertoire, might I suggest its immediate and merciless eradication?
Secondly: What a useless fucking question.
I’m pretty sure my head did that confused dog-style tilt to one side as I simply inquired, “Why on earth would you ask me something like that?” I didn’t yell. Raise my voice. Imply a “fuck you” or anything of the sort. I wanted to know.
“Because everyone has dirt — c’mon. You’ve got dirt. What would you throw in life’s washing machine if you could to get rid of it?” He posited back at me with a unsettling gleam in his eyes.
So I thought about it.
“Nothing,” I replied.
He wanted to argue the point. Needless to say, I’m confident we won’t be sharing conversation or furthering romantic intentions. Good luck, Godspeed, and good afternoon to you, sir.
This morning, I woke not being able to get this odd-as-hell exchange out of my mind. And it brought me to this:
The only thing we should ever be ashamed of is not having the courage to love ourselves. To give ourselves the credit that we are due, and for every success, brilliant failure, love won or lost, leap forward or setback.
And while I’m not ashamed of it, the one wish I have for whatever life I get to live after this one (and yes, I believe in that), is that I start loving myself and start living my life a whole lot sooner than I did during this one.
So ask yourself: what are YOU ashamed of?
Make the list. Read it over. And cross everything off until you get to the line your wrote about not having the courage to love yourself.
And then change that.
Have a kickass Thursday. You’ve been slapped (and so have I).