The Bitch Slap: How to Date in Denver When You’re a D-Bag

greg hollenback denver not himDear Mr. Hollenback~

As a resident of the greater Cherry Creek and Glendale area here in Denver, I receive the Glendale Cherry Creek Chronicle in my mailbox each month. While I generally only give it a cursory flip through, your recent article “How to Date in Denver When You’re Dead” caught my eye. I hope you don’t mind, but I felt the headline was inaccurate. Hence, I renamed it in my column here today.

Somewhere along the way, you’ve acquired the moniker “Sheik of Cherry Creek,” while I can’t imagine who comprises your harem. Your recent column is a cesspool of misogyny – and the last time I issued a smackdown of this magnitude, it was to Douglas Brown over at the Denver Post for his ill-researched, faux exploration of cougar culture. Pull up a chair – you’re about to get Bitch Slapped.

“Cut this column out, fold it up and put it in your back pocket. I’m serious. What you are about to read should be your first date constitution, the holy grail of dating. You could be a dead guy and use this recipe for success. It’s war out there and you need to be as prepared as possible when you enter back into the dating battlefield and if you’re not you will be left for dead, broke and lonely.”

Incorrect, Greg. It’s NOT war in the world of man-meets-woman. Perhaps for the douchebags who would read your column and take your advice as the holy grail, but not for the average population. It’s no shocker your column is dubbed “Confessions of a Serial Dater.,” as if you’re following your own advice, you’re likely to have more drinks in your face than beauties on your arm.

“First, you have to get your head right. Remember, women are wired to be dysfunctional by nature and when emotion overrides logic you know you’re in for a wild ride.”

This line actually made me spit Fresca. I truly adore the fact that you begin an article purported to be the Holy Grail for dating with a really offensive judgment on the nature of womankind. Now, I’ll hand it to you that there is psycho pussy wild and loose on the streets of Denver, but it’s douchebags like yourself that make it hard for all the kickass guys and gals out there looking for someone to share their lives with (or at least not kick out of bed for an extended period of time).

How about if I came out and said that every guy is a chauvinistic, self-absorbed, cheating, infantile, commitmentphobe dickhead? While I’ve met damn fine array of men in my lifetime who share one or an assortment of those qualities, it’s not an accurate assessment of men as a whole, is it? And it’s guys like you who spew such crap – and in a family-oriented community newspaper and a forgettably trafficked Blogspot blog, nonetheless – that make it hard for the hordes of decent guys out there because the awesome chicks think they’re assholes because some douchebag pigeonholed them. Alas, I could go on about this one aspect forever, but let’s move on to some of the other Holy Grail of Dating-type gems in your column.

“Your approach is everything. Your first impression and getting a woman to go out on a date with you is half the battle. Except don’t ever, and I mean never, call it a date…”

Really? We’re not “dating” anymore? Well, slap me and call me Myrna. See, when I go to sites like Match.com, guess what I’m looking for? A date. I’m not going to Friend.com or BeMyHikingBuddy.com. I’m going to a site that allows me to connect with MEN in order to explore future romantic involvement. And I never want to wonder if something is a “date” or not. So for fuck sake, it’s a date. Women appreciate straightforward. Go “hang out” with your buddies and watch the game. Take a girl on a date. After you’ve been dating a girl for awhile, you can “hang out” with her on the couch. But guess what – you’re probably going to have to take her out on a few dates first.

“So when you say, “Let’s go grab a happy hour and have some laughs” she is hearing a fun statement rather than a question that she can say “no” to. “Let’s go” rather than “Would you like to,” and “grab” meaning quick, in and out if she’s not having fun. Then “happy hour” and “laughs,” the double banger, booze and laughing, which are two of women’s favorite pastimes.”

Heavens. This is simply precious: booze and laughing are two of women’s favorite pastimes. Maybe this is true in the middle of Skankville where you apparently go trolling for your strange, but not among the smart and sexy women I know – and especially here in Denver. My girlfriends’ favorite pastimes include things like cycling, hiking, climbing, knitting, salsa dancing, charity work, going to a Rockies game and working in the garden. And sure – we dig a beer or glass of wine before, during or after some of those activities, too. But I dare say that no lady having any semblance of class, here in Denver or elsewhere, would list booze on any list of pastimes. If alcohol becomes a pastime, that’s called being an alcoholic.

“And remember resistance causes attraction so if you can get her to wonder if you’re into her and create a little mystery you will begin to have women chasing you in no time.”

Aside from my overwhelming urge to copyedit this sentence, I’ll just address the content. No, I don’t want to wonder if a guy is into me. Not at all. It’s total bullshit and a game that douchebag “dating folks” like you need to stop perpetuating. If you want to play games, move along before you end up a chalk outline in my dating neighborhood, because I’ll pass you over and mark you forgettable before you can even check your phone a 17th time to see if I’ve texted you back.

Great relationships are borne out of mutual attraction, timing, circumstance and…that “thing.” And let me just say that if you like someone enough to sit down and think, “Hmmmm…how am I going to jack with his/her head so they know how much I like them?” I’ll just say that you’re probably not too terribly into that person. I’ve been blessed with some amazing relationships in my life, and while they all didn’t turn out to be forever, not a single one of those men fucked with my head. And I didn’t fuck with theirs, either.

(The next outtake immediately follows the previously eviscerated sentence in Mr. Hollenback’s column.)

“After all we are merely extensions of nature; women are little flowers looking for the strongest seed to pollinate them. Be strong and safe out there.”

I am not a flower. Women are not flowers. We are women, and while we may have the urge to become mothers some day, I do not require any man to “pollinate” me. This is, by far, the most offensive fallacy you put forth in your laughable column. You’re trying to tell me that you honestly feel that women are meek and men superior and my days spent looking for one who will bless me with his seed? Let me guide you through a day in my world.

I get up between 5 and 5:30 A.M. I head to the gym or yoga. Back home, and get jazzed for my work day. You see, I own a consulting business and am a professional writer. If I don’t move my business forward, who will? Throughout the day, I speak with colleagues, work with clients, acquire new projects and close out ones completed. I laugh, I swear, I smack spiders with a shoe and mow the lawn. I’ll hop on my bike for a training ride my coach has laid out for me, have dinner with friends, cook and indulge in a little Netflix. Then I’ll wrap things up and get ready to do it all again tomorrow.

Do you see a need to be “pollinated” anywhere in my day? I’ll venture to guess there are a ton of guys who have pretty much identical days, too.

I’m looking for a partner, and yes, it’s true: I dig the good old Texas Hangdown. I dig dudes. It will be wonderful when the man with whom I’ll move through my life emerges and we can build a relationship. Laughter (sans the booze), straightforward communication (no cryptic bullshit) and the desire to make one another’s lives better. To help one another be whatever it is they dream of being. That’s what I’m looking for. If children are in the mix, it’ll happen. If my plumbing doesn’t work, we’ll adopt and there’s the miracle of modern reproductive medicine to help things along if that’s the path we choose. But I don’t need pollination. I’ve never met a woman in my thirty-seven years who did.

“Follow me on Twitter at sheikofcc and don’t forget to go to www.greghollenback.com to comment on this and previous months issues of “Confessions of a Serial Dater” along with Denver’s most complete singles social calendar and a way to get a hold of me for one on one date coaching. In the next article, “Happy Hour, Happy Ending” I am going to tell you where to go on your first date!”

It terrifies me to no end that you offer “one on one date coaching.” Frankly, why would anyone want dating advice from someone who describes themselves as a “serial dater?” I want dating advice from friends and family who know me and care, a professional matchmaker or a therapist (since all women are inherently dysfunctional, we all must have one, right?). I certainly don’t want it from you, and I’ll venture to say that none of my male readers, single or otherwise, would either.

And I’m pretty much appalled at the proposed headline for your next column: “Happy Hour, Happy Ending.” The phrase “happy ending” is synonymous with jerking off a patron in a massage parlor. I can certainly hold out hope that the editor over at the Chronicle will do his or her due diligence and strike that prior to publication.

To wind things up, I’m wondering if the Glendale Cherry Creek Chronicle’s editor was drunk or high when they accepted your column for publication and subsequently featured you on the home page of their website. I know someone had to have looked at it prior to print, as they were sober enough to fix the glaring grammatical and usage errors displayed in your blog version for the most part. But your advice to men looking to get the attention of “hot, modern women” is so simultaneously false, demeaning and otherwise offensive that I can’t believe a neighborhood-oriented publication in the suburbs of Denver has taken it to print and offered it to their audience. It’s not entertaining. It’s not even well-written. It’s just…well, it’s crap.

Glendale and Cherry Creek are places where people raise families. I don’t see a single father out there who would teach his son of the “holy grail of dating” you spew.

And you, Mr. Hollenback, have been Bitch Slapped. And you’re a first: I’ve never Bitch Slapped a person before, yet in this situation, I’ve made an exception.

Sincerely,

Erika Napoletano
Head Redhead/Not a Flower
RHW Media

194 replies
  1. Matt Bernier
    Matt Bernier says:

    Holy shit that guy is a total douche – I imagine that with the right push behind sharing this link, he may never get a date again and his readership/commentors will go up but be ALL negative about how much of a dick that guy is.

    Anyone know some women’s groups who want to tear this guy apart? Share share share this link, no lady should feel safe around this guy!

    Sounds like he is more likely to put a date in the woods and hunt her with a big knife then take her on a romantic date…

    Reply
  2. mLori71
    mLori71 says:

    OMFG!! This guy is a serious dickhead!! Allow me this opportunity to say that I’m no flower either! How many flowers do you know that can kick a grown man’s ass without chipping her nail polish? None!

    He sounds like a walking, talking (probably drooling, as well) case of the clap. Serial mastubater is more be-fitting him. Goddamn, he’s a wanker!

    LOVED this one chick! Well said!

    Reply
  3. Sarah Jane
    Sarah Jane says:

    You know who really needs a bitchslap? Any woman foolish, ahem, desperate enough to go out with this dude.

    Cheers to women with some backbone! Great post Erika!

    Reply
  4. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    His article sounds like it was written by “The Situation”. I think this falls into the “bad ass mofo/just a mofo” conversation a while back.

    Reply
  5. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    How to make a serial dating column:

    2 tsp arrogance
    4 Tbsp cockiness
    1.5 lbs misogyny
    2 lbs mind games

    Marinate overnight in a gallon of Privilege.
    Serve expecting a Bitch Slap that will leave egg on the face.
    Optional: Wonder why nobody will give you the time of day.

    I hate to tell Greg this…well, actually, I’m happy to tell him this…considering the women you date as vapid, mindless conquests to be manipulated went out with leaded gasoline. And good riddance.

    Reply
    • The Redhead
      The Redhead says:

      My pleasure, Leah. I love hearing the comments from all my readers that I know have kids – still waiting for the one odd bird to come out in support of misogyny. Waiting…waiting…

      Reply
  6. rob
    rob says:

    With a find like this, I had to know more, so I read a bit of his website. Check out this bit of wisdom:

    Pitch in less desirable ball parks. There is no way you’re ready to market yourself to the woman of your dreams right now. However, you need to remain in the game in whatever capacity, even if that means taking one for the team. Here’s why. Somehow, someway, women know if a man is getting any action. Don’t ask me how, they just do, maybe it’s a smell or something. Women don’t want a man other women don’t want. Women want a man who has options because ultimately they want to be chosen, they don’t want to settle for you.

    LOL. so he is advising bumping uglies with the less than desirable girls so the hotties can smell them on you. Jesus, Mary and Joseph this guy is a tard!

    Reply
  7. timbrauhn
    timbrauhn says:

    I won’t blame it entirely on the picture that you chose for this post, but throughout the whole business here, I kept imagining the “Sheik” (which I would normally transliterate with an additional “h”) as a Ron Jeremy-style figure/figurine, chuckling in his basement spiderhole. That style of flippant misogyny often translates into physical and emotional abuse. You know what you have to do.

    Reply
  8. Lissa Duty
    Lissa Duty says:

    I wonder how many women he has actually had a successful, mutual relationship with! Appears top me he is an ego maniac trying to foster and grow other ego maniacs. Best of wishes to his crappy dating advice! I am on the dating market (we’ll will be soon)! Divorce is pending! I have to say any guy that approaches me with any attitudes/endos listed in his article will be out the door immediately.

    Oh, wait, how will I get pollinated with out jerks like him! Guess it’s a good thing I already have a 2 year old daughter from another self righteous jerk! LOL!

    Reply
  9. Hieronymus Murphy
    Hieronymus Murphy says:

    Whether Greg Hollenback’s column is satire or not (although if it is, it’s awful), it served to take me back to my long-ago days in the clubs, when I’d watch the occasional d-bag apply similar dating “principles” to every woman they met.

    Like relentless, cheesy door-to-door salesmen, they’d push to close a “sale,” and in the process alienate all but the least-sober women they addressed. In the process, the d-bags would provoke contempt in all the more discriminating women in the room, thus making them all the more skeptical about the intentions of the rest of us.

    Greg, your column was *not* funny, and your editor should learn to discriminate between tasteless juvenilia and satire.

    Reply
  10. John Lutter
    John Lutter says:

    If you think douchbaggery is rampant in Denver, you should try a place like South Florida…

    It may seem absurd to some of you, but its not really easy for some guys to just walk up to someone that is cycling, hiking, or salsa dancing, and ask them on a date. Some guys are desperate to find a what will work, and are willing to pay big money to learn how.

    I have to admit, that when I got divorced, I purchased an e-book that was supposed to “Double Your Dating”… I could see how it would work, but it just wasn’t me. Its about asking 10 women, and hoping that atleast 1 says yes. Churn and Burn.

    Its sad that guys have to resort to that type of behavior in order to get a date.

    It would be so much easier if women just wore t-shirts that said, “Hi, I’m single… ask me out.” And when someone DID ask them out, they actually said yes.

    Oh well… back to reading, “How to pick up women in 10 easy steps..” 🙂

    Reply
    • The Redhead
      The Redhead says:

      Well, the ladies aren’t always going to say yes. It’s the ones that do – well, that’s when you know they’re special 🙂 And it’s sad that dating techniques are likened to illegal stock market tactics as well. Churn and burn. The commoditization of humankind. Blech.

      Reply
      • John Lutter
        John Lutter says:

        Unfortunately, that’s what this world has turned into. De-humanizing the opposite sex makes it way easier to deal with the kick-in-the-nuts feeling of getting rejected. I’ve even heard people suggest that you get used to being rejected, that way it gets easier to just move on to the next lady at the bar.

        Its the door-to-door salesman technique for dating.

        Reply
          • Tyler Adams
            Tyler Adams says:

            I get what John is saying though. In order for him to make a lovely lady feel special he has to first get her to agree to go on a date with him. If one is trying to meet someone in places like bars then there are 3 basic steps to a date: Initiating the conversation, maintaining an interesting conversation, asking the person out. Odds are, you are going to fail at that first step most of the time. In which case, there’s nothing else to do but pick yourself up and try it again.

  11. SEOcopy
    SEOcopy says:

    Once again Erika you started my day off right. At least this time I had sense enough to put my coffee down before I started reading this. Good thing you cleared up the “pollinate” comment nicely. At fifty I can tell you pollination has yet to be something I was “looking” for. 😉

    Reply
  12. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    This guy is a ridiculous caricature of men. The fact he thinks he knows women makes me guffaw.

    And I’m doing my darnedest to raise 2 awesome men. They’re 6 and 3, and some of their sentences are better constructed.

    I’m pretty sure most men who meet this guy don’t like him, either. Great comeback, Erika!

    Reply
  13. Matt Ridings - Techguerilla
    Matt Ridings - Techguerilla says:

    Whoa, whoa, WHOA!. You mean I just asked some dysfunctional broad to hold my meat purse for NOTHING? This Mr. Hollenback owes me a refund.

    p.s. – I’d personally like to thank the Sheik actually. He makes normal schmoes like me seem like real catches against the background of mentardation that he spews.

    Reply
  14. Erroin Martin
    Erroin Martin says:

    I feel like I am watching — in this case reading — a copy of that horrible movie staring Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl called “The Ugly Truth”. (It is sad that I know this fact but when trapped in a hotel room with few viewing options… well occasionally you’ve got to watch crap.) The premise is he is a chauvinistic pig spewing the same junk as this guy, she is a good girl, and they fall for each other.

    The fact that you have awarded this D-bag a B-slap is only rewarding what he wanted anyway: a response. Congratulations, you have given it to him. It is my belief that you all would be better served and so would the Glendale Cherry Creek Chronicle by ignoring him. If the D-bag has any savvy then I am sure he is aware that this B-slap has come out and will make his next article “Happy Hour, Happy Ending” even worse.

    You have elevated him with 1,900 words (and your time in editing this article) will only attract more attention to him (see Rob’s comment below.) Alas, I do no think he was worthy of a B-slap. Ridicule and humiliation, yes, but a B-slap… you are to worthy to be brought down to a D-bags level and he is not worthy of your elevation.

    Reply
    • The Redhead
      The Redhead says:

      Erroin – you know your comments here are always welcome. However, I’ll disagree (and not because I wrote the column). Hollenback needed to be called out for (1) littering a community-centric publication with his misogynistic overtures, and (2) assuming that anyone in the Greater Denver area would potentially pay him for dating advice. As a culture, we spend out time lamenting the end to printed journalism and shifting focus to the online. In this case, both have bit Mr. Hollenback square in the ass, as he’s proud of his words. Well, I found them, found them vile, and can’t say any of my readers disagree with me.

      The Glendale Cherry Creek Chronicle cannot ignore Mr. Hollenback, as they’re the ones providing him with bandwidth. And readers are apparently leaving Mr. Hollenback comments on his blog and he is deleting them. I can only hope people will reach out the the actual newspaper and share their thoughts on what they feel about Greg’s sage dating advice. And Greg should also thank me for the best traffic day his blog has seen in…well, ever.

      Reply
      • Erroin Martin
        Erroin Martin says:

        Erika — I am glad that you appreciate my comments. Now I agree with you and your readers that the D-bag is way off base when it comes to dating and women in particular. I just believe that you are elevating him in the conscience of your readers and therefore increasing the traffic to his blog. The only way you deal with such vile, misogynist, infantile behavior is to punish the GCC Chronicle for giving a platform to this trite by not reading it. Someone somewhere deep in the depths of the GCC Chronicle thought hiring and having this guy would be a good idea and increase readership through controversy. “Without having all the facts,” (to quote someone famous) it appears that their intended desire — controversy — is working.If he is deleting comments from his blog that are not propagated with vile language, then shame on the D-bag. That is truly a defense by a coward.We will agree to disagree on this: I do not think he is worthy of a B-slap.

        Reply
  15. Liz Scherer
    Liz Scherer says:

    Wow! I am astonished. Has this man crawled out from under a rock? If so, I suggest that he crawl back and leave the dating to intelligent, modern men who understand women more than they dig playing games. One word for this dude: loser.

    Reply
  16. JRPittman
    JRPittman says:

    I’m completely blown away with rejection… After reading your EXCELLENT commentary, Erika – well, I had to see the whole post. Apparently, the *clears throat* “man” didn’t like my comment. I can’t imagine why…

    “Gentlemen, do yourself a favor and don’t take this advice. I guarantee you – for the most part, “today’s modern women” will NOT agree with this sad excuse for dating advice. If they do, I can also guarantee you, most of them will probably not be the type of women you’d want to date… unless you plan on sharing them with other men.

    Frankly, it’s offensive. Women are not “naturally dysfunctional”, “flowers that need pollinating” or any of that. The word “date” is not a turn off, and we don’t like it when you mess with our heads.

    Look, guys, it’s not complicated. Be yourselves – period. If the woman you’re.. yes, DATING… doesn’t enjoy you for you, you’re with the wrong woman – or your a creep.

    If you don’t know which is which, let me clarify… a creep is one of those guys who feel they need to pollinate, thinks a woman’s favorite pastime has anything to do with drinking and puts “naturally dysfunctional” in a statement along with “all women are”. That, gentlemen, is a creep.

    Let me point you to a blog about how REAL women feel about this post, shall I? It might further enlighten you:
    http://www.redheadwriting.com/the-bitch-slap-denver-dbag

    Pfft… definite douchebag and excellent, much deserved bitch slap. You’re officially my hero.

    Reply
  17. The Redhead
    The Redhead says:

    Hollenback’s deleting blog comments? Wow. Shame, really. Appreciate the words of encouragement. Would love to hear him weigh in here since he encourages people to actually leave comments on his blog.

    Reply
  18. Bill Green
    Bill Green says:

    “After all we are merely extensions of nature; women are little flowers looking for the strongest seed to pollinate them. Be strong … .” Awesome. I bet after a couple drinks he would confess that he has a shoe fetish and he wants to be Carrie Bradshaw when he grows up.I had a client just like this, except (somehow) he was married. I ended that relationship because his attitude toward women was disgusting and was going to jeopardize the project.I think there were a couple bits of truth in there, but there are always a couple bits of corn that ooze from the southbound end of a northbound pig. This coming from the proverbial nice guy who always finished last because I never could adopt this view of dating. That said, I had friends who did and they got laid … a lot (though now that I think about it, I’m married and they are not). Just like a certain kind of bait will attract a certain type of fish, this type of dating will net a certain type of girl. She might be fun for the night, but probably not someone I would want to spend a week with in Moab.BTW – I like the picture of your friend Mike at the top.- BG

    Reply
    • Anonymous
      Anonymous says:

      I found one grain of truth. I think =people=, men and women, are wired to be dysfunctional by nature, with a few stellar exceptions. We seem to want to do things that are self-destructive, eat stuff that’s not good for us, and hang out with all the wrong people.

      This impulse, I feel, is the only reason this Greg dude has ever gotten laid in his life — if he genuinely is what he claims to be, and not typing up his fantasies of dating glory in his mom’s basement on a Friday night. Some of us go for the bad boy. I used to, but I got over it.

      Reply
  19. Killian
    Killian says:

    The fact that this guy is, in fact, quite serious about his incessant verbal diarrhea makes me worry for my daughters, both of whom are in college. Now, it is my sincere hope that my efforts to raise them to be sardonically condescending to idiots like this have been successful. But just in case, I will be pointing both of them to your column so that they too, can appreciate the wisdom of a well-placed bitchslap.

    Erika, if I ever make it to Denver, would you allow me to buy you a drink? It would be my honor to shake the hand of the woman who took on the Great And Powerful Sheik of Dating.

    Reply
  20. Susan
    Susan says:

    I really not surprised that the Glendale/ Cherry Creek Chronicle published this article. Remember Glendale is known for 2 things: the oldest standing building in the Denver area and strip clubs.

    Reply
  21. @keithprivette
    @keithprivette says:

    Yup back your assessment of woman and guys that fit the non-dbag classification! You know this article had such timing for me. As a guy (One I think you are talking about in the article, but some work to do in some areas) don’t marketers and advertisers promote us fellas this way in all the commercials. We see a cleavage on the street and we run our cars into light poles, we loose all sense of direction and step in flower beds (this one I saw this weekend), and we loose all sense of intelligence. I do feel marketers and advertisers aim way to low. We appreciate seeing advertising or online promotions of Dads going to the store and shopping for diapers or tampons, Guys going to buy flowers and a card for their girlfriends just to show they care, and or dropping kids off at daycare. This sells products to the guys you speak in this article, but we really have nothing reflecting that in the any media today. Well except the spattering of guy blogs out there. I know it is small in numbers, but I do think huge in converting us into buyers for the bottom line. What do you think?

    You see none of this online or offline, why is that? If a firm starts looking at us as consumers of kids toothpaste and toilet bowl cleaner, they will blow the lid off an untapped market to actually sell real world products to and turn profits for their clients. Us guys are not all about beer, Trojans, and big HD 3D TV’s.

    Once again Erika you knocked it out of the park!

    Reply
    • The Redhead
      The Redhead says:

      Keith – you bring up an excellent point. What about the daddy bloggers? The guys who spend the same money at the grocery store as women do? Blast it if you hit me at the one time I’m not working with a brand that would benefit. I’d have ripped it off shamelessly and given you due credit.

      And yeah – guys aren’t all big screens and condoms. You’re awesome creatures that I’m proud to have among my best friends. Glad you enjoyed and thanks for posing a damn fine question.

      Reply
      • @keithprivette
        @keithprivette says:

        Yeah daddy bloggers small in numbers, but huge numbers across other social platforms and offline doing things to raise families and love woman! Oh I would not consider that ripping off…co-creation! Oh I have a feeling with how action oriented that you are that will soon become a reality and the client is going to love you for it! Thanks again for calling it out when it needs to be called out. I also congratulate the people that came out to support your POV! Especially from the fellas. Nice work “real men”!

        Reply
  22. Fellow Red Head
    Fellow Red Head says:

    Well… As you mentioned, the purpose of dating is to find someone to share your time with… and calling himself a serial dater… Well, he clearly isn’t a “successful” dater, now is he? Isn’t that like someone drowning in credit card debt trying to give financial advice? He looks like a dweeb anyway….

    Reply
  23. jason schippers
    jason schippers says:

    He is a total douche-o-surus rex. I could not imagine being like this. Maybe it’s because I was raised in Iowa. Or maybe it’s because I had wonderful parents that taught me the right and wrong way to treat people.

    I guess I’m old fashioned. I still believe in the little things like opening doors, getting a girl flowers or just doing random little notes or acts to bring a smile to their face. I like the romance and I wear my heart on my sleeve. I’m not afraid to admit it.

    I know that I’ll find someone that appreciates that and will be a good match for me. I’m not very cocky, but I feel like a whale of a catch compared to this guy. It’s just sad that girls will be put through his games and because of this, won’t end up trusting guys like me.

    Reply
    • The Redhead
      The Redhead says:

      Jason – I’ll just say that guys like you are a girl’s dream. Keep wearing your heart on your sleeve – when the right girl comes along, she’ll make you glad you did!

      And I’m stealing douche-o-saurus rex. Priceless.

      Reply
  24. Alysson
    Alysson says:

    I don’t even know where to begin, as your bitch slap clearly covered all the bases. “Confessions of a Serial Dater”? Try confessions of a serial douchebag. This type of blatant and unapologetic misogyny is to blame for the epidemic-level inability of most men & women to communicate with one another. It appears there are incarnations of “The Situation” all over the country and that Jersey doesn’t corner the market on filthy man-whores.

    Relationships are not a game. People are not pawns on a chessboard. If what you’re looking for is to get laid, I’m sure there are plenty of feebleminded, attention-starved whores out there who will fall crotch first into this cesspool of unrelenting sexism and manipulation. I’m guessing the readers of Mr. Hollenbeck’s fine blog enjoy swimming laps in a pool of Herpes and Gonorrhea.

    Sterility is our only defense. And with the amount of time these embarrassments to humanity spend at the STD buffet, well…tick-tock.

    Reply
  25. mary
    mary says:

    I actually thought for a second that you were making this up. I mean, it would be fun to have a column like this to bitch about. But apparently this man lives?

    Since I write a blog about Happy Hour, and I do like to laugh (about intelligent topics) I am HIGHLY offended. He demeans my writing pastime.

    This does however make me SO happy I have been married to a great guy for 30 years so that I never have to ever meet this man. I can only hope that that is a actual picture of him that you used at the top of your blog! Good slap!

    Reply
  26. Rolandhulme
    Rolandhulme says:

    “If alcohol becomes a pastime, that’s called being an alcoholic.”

    Wow, I guess I better cancel that wine tasting and sign up for AA then. Or stop brewing my own beer. Or being European, where 90% of socialising is done at venues that serve alcohol.

    The above was kind of a Hollenback. Just saying.

    Reply
  27. D.T. Pennington
    D.T. Pennington says:

    I’ve kept an eye on Hollenback for sometime now, and it’s clear he subscribes to Neil Strauss and “The Game” and chances are he has filled in all of the questionaires in the companion book “The Rules of the Game” (I, too, have both books, but I am using them for research for another book I’m working on. . . I swear).It’s my belief that no one can really teach anyone how to date. It’s something you learn. Sure, someone can observe you, offer pointers, but in the end every single coupling is a crap shoot. Different variables result in different odds and the only way to know if you’re a girl’s type is to just dive in.What are Hollenback and Strauss and all those playboys attempting to teach? Manipulation and psychological tricks that border on mind-control. Hell, what do I know? I haven’t dated in nearly a year and a half. Then again, in the end, not even Neil Strauss – the most publicly famous pickup artist of them all – didn’t want to play The Game anymore.

    Reply
  28. The Redhead
    The Redhead says:

    Actually, no – it’s not “kinda Hollenback.” And I’m sure you’ll agree that his sentiment of “booze and laughter” being representative of womankind’s favorite pastimes is not on par with someone who is a wine enthusiast or a home brewer. Where you choose to socialize is clearly a choice – but calling booze a pastime is not, nor will it ever be, an accurate representation of womankind as a whole 😉

    Reply
  29. SeanOliver
    SeanOliver says:

    He’s a tremendous bag, but like most bags I know, probably tends to be successful at doing what he does. I myself was a total feminist/gender roles are BS/nice guy for years, but then didn’t tend to have too much success dating after I left college. Douchbaggery is basically overconfidence mixed with misogyny, but without confidence you might as well give up on dating as a man. Some things I did when I got serious about meeting someone:

    1. Asking for as many numbers as I could, albeit respectfully (worst case scenario: she doesn’t pick up, or it doesn’t work out). It is a numbers game at the end of the day, and you can’t find the right number if you don’t ask for it!

    2. Being more socially aggressive than I’m normally comfortable with, and getting comfortable with rejection. Most straight women in my experience prefer to be chased than chase. Note that I said MOST, and I will state definitively that there’s nothing wrong with women who feel otherwise. Also, some women will be totally into you, and then decide (or her friends will decide) that your shoes aren’t right. I’ve had that happen to me like 5 times (seriously). You can’t get down when you’re rejected, as you have no control over it… aaand you probably don’t want to build anything long-term with someone who judges character on footwear regardless.

    3. Don’t seem too eager about moving things along. Unless you have rakish good looks, Situation abs, Trump money, or Hawking intelligence, you’re not likely to win women’s favor by calling all the time. Also, contrary to popular belief, most women I know completely reject all the well-intentioned advice from their friends… nor do I know anyone who got “fixed up” whose relationship has lasted. Case in point, I’m the only SO my fiancé has had in 7 years that her friends have liked… and that took a year and a half of careful diplomacy. They started off hating me. They hated her other BFs even more (though some of them were huge bags).

    4. I used to think the “one week” rule between getting phone number/first call was balogna, and would call whenever I felt like it. However, apparently anything in the middle of that period apparently qualifies as being “needy” or “clingy”, so one week it is.

    5. Set hard and fast rules about going home with people. I had one fantastic date w/a woman, we clicked, laughed, had a great time. She waited until she was dropping me off at my place to indicate that she really wanted to come upstairs. I had a “3 date rule”, so I politely declined, and told her that we would have plenty of time to get to know one another. She never called back. My fiancé on the other hand, invited me to her place the first time, stating “I’ll make out but I won’t have sex with you yet,” to which I laughed and told her that was fine with me. I think we ended up waiting a month. I don’t know one person who’s made a lasting relationship spring from a one-nighter.

    It’s tough for me. I’ve been in a relationship now for 3 years (got engaged last month), and I’m very happy. We’re pretty open, communicate well, and are both very respectful of each other and good to each other. While there is a feminist utopia of gender relations vis-a-vis dating that I would have loved to have continued to have been a part of (that’s what a small liberal arts college was like 2000-2002), If I hadn’t played some of the silly dating “games”, we definitely would not have ended up together. Especially in big urban environments where competition to be noticed, (yet not to be viewed as a psycho) is paramount.

    One other side note: my now-fiancé checked my dating references for two weeks before she would go on a date with me, and had a friend waiting at a bar down the street in case the date went sour. I could’ve reacted incredulously to such an effort, but as I’ve had friends by sexually assaulted before, I was very understanding. The precarious balance between confidence and douchebaggery!

    Reply
    • The Redhead
      The Redhead says:

      Here’s all I’ll say as you seemed to have done well enough with it yourself:

      “The precarious balance between confidence and douchebaggery!”

      See how eloquently you were able to share what’s worked for YOU? You did it without sounding like a dbag. THAT, sear Sean, is where Mr. Hollenback had a severe miss. And here’s my take one the one week rule: go a week without calling me and it’s likely you’ll never hear from me again. I don’t know a single woman who would think that’s OK and I’m sorry you had to stumble through the ladies who thought anything less was pestering.

      Congrats on the recent engagement – and I totally understand your fiancee’s wanting a friend close by in case something went awry. And hugs kudos to YOU for understanding her concern.

      Reply
  30. M-A Roy
    M-A Roy says:

    Congrats! Quite a well-deserved slap. And many interesting comments to boot.
    I am a father of an 8-year old girl. I raise her as a person first (recognizing she is a girl, of course) partly because of douchebags like these. There is hope on the dating scene as your column and its many readers can attest to.

    PS: It struck me though that you did not indicate that it could be the man’s “plumbing” that is not working. Intentional?

    Reply
    • The Redhead
      The Redhead says:

      Well, since Mr. Hollenback’s not graced us with his feedback, I can only assume he’s chosen to either stay in said woodshed or is licking wounds. I’m not shocked that there’s no one here who’s condoned his vernacular. I can only hope the editorial staff of the GCCC will see that his brand of “humor” isn’t funny in the slightest.

      Reply
  31. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    Erika,

    It surprises me somewhat that you’re so appalled by this type of mentality. Unfortunately, this is how a lot of men think dating should be: psychological warfare with a “win” determined by whether or not you end up getting laid at the end of the night. A “relationship” is a word a lot of men don’t really understand…and some fear.

    But is it our fault? Or are we victims of years of conditioning? Don’t you watch TV ads? If it ain’t beer, bacon or boobs, we ain’t interested. Moreover, from our earliest childhood, men (boys) are taught that being “cool” is about getting laid, getting the girl. That’s how it is in the movies we watch (heroes get the girl/get laid), and what distinguishes the “cool guys” on the TV shows (from Sam Malone to Don Draper). Pathetic lowly worms like Mr. Hollenback tap into those instincts to generate a lame following. Remember Andrew Dice Clay? Same thing.

    One way to counter this is to raise our daughters to see beyond the ruse and recognize that men like Mr. Hollenback are only worth a good chuckle (remember how Elaine laughed at Puddy when she saw him wearing a “Man Fur” on “Seinfeld”? That’s what I’m talking about). I can assure you that when my daughter is of dating age (25!) and a worm like Mr. Hollenback approaches her with a line like: “Let’s go grab a happy hour and have some laughs”, she’ll send him to Hell only after laughing her ass off for a good minute.

    Man, I’m glad I’m married, it’s a jungle out there! Wish you all the best in your search 🙂

    Reply
    • The Redhead
      The Redhead says:

      Dan – always a pleasure to have you weigh in. Actually, I’m not so much appalled that this mentality exists (there’s room for quite a bit in the world as we know it). I’m moreso offended by the venue in which I learned of this perspective: a community newspaper delivered to my mailbox serving one the most family-oriented central Denver suburbs (granted, Glendale IS strip club central, but who doesn’t love a peeler?). Since he’s touted (by himself) as “Denver’s leading dating advice columnist for the Glendale Cherry Creek Chronicle,” I’m curious as to why the editors think this kind of spew is even anything their community needs to see.

      And I’ll go on the record now: if I can get video of your daughter sending a man to hell for spewing Hollenback-ish sleaze in her direction, there’s some serious high-fiving coming her direction 😉

      And with regard to my search – it’s a crazy road but one I wouldn’t trade for the world!

      Reply
      • Anonymous
        Anonymous says:

        True, publication should know better if it’s a suburban area – hopefully they’ll read this post and have Mr. Hollenback “check himself before he wrecks himself”. If he’s Denver’s leading dating advice columnist then dating in Denver must really suck.

        As for you dating, I remember what Pai Mei said to The Bride in “Kill Bill II”: “It’s the wood that should fear your hand, not the other way around.” Guess which one you are?

        Hug.

        Reply
  32. Ok w/ Gay
    Ok w/ Gay says:

    Hollenback’s most recent “column” truly had me questioning his heterosexuality. His hatred for women is so obvious, I’m left to wonder if the man isn’t batting for the other team. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

    Reply
  33. Sarah
    Sarah says:

    Erika,

    I have to disagree with the “drinks in your face” part. I don’t think anyone in her right mind would ever sit at a table with this guy, let alone long enough to have someone bring her a drink!

    Reply
  34. Mark Aaron Murnahan
    Mark Aaron Murnahan says:

    I do not understand how dating becomes a game to some people. If you are “good at dating” it should mean that you are no longer just dating. Otherwise, it seems more appropriate to say “I am good at getting a variety of people naked”, or maybe “I am good at getting a variety of people to spend time with me”.

    Dating is testing, and generally with a hope of a mutual desire to become closer and enjoy spending more time together in the future. Why should anybody make that into a game unless they really enjoy emotional confusion and inconsistency? Variety is fine, but it is normally just a process of finding a favorite. That goes for food, wine, clothing, cars, and yes … people.

    Sure, I suppose that people have a lot of reasons to “date”, but in general it is assumed that if you recycle your friends and do not remain close to them, something is not working so well. Dating is a microcosm of the same.

    I do not offer dating advice, but I guess you may say that I was damn good at dating. My instances of good dating resulted in being married to the woman of my dreams and enjoying raising our three children together.

    Did dating change in that time since I dated? No. Dating is dating, and it will always involve similar elements. Dating well involves respectfulness, kindness, interestingness, and being responsible enough to not go shitting on people by playing games with them.

    Reply
  35. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    “Confessions of a Serial Dater.,”It would appear that Mr. Hollenback subscribes to the “If you can’t dazzle with brilliance, baffle them bullshit” theory of dating.I feel sorry for any guy in Cherry Creek that would believe Hollendback’s column to be anything more than adolescent “locker room” crap.Thanks Erika.. That was one of the best “slaps” yet! SC

    Reply
  36. Ingrid Abboud
    Ingrid Abboud says:

    Erika you da woman!

    This has got to be one of the funniest posts I’ve read to date! You had me chuckling so loud that I was scared my sister who’s sleeping in the next room would wake up and rip me a new one (it’s 3:30 am where I am).

    Douchebag = huge understatement
    Pollinate?! Really? Pollinate this mofo!

    Sounds like this serial dater or more like master-baiter goes home alone every night to choke the chicken to the good tune of “Oh, I’m a loser baby, so why dont you…” lol 🙂

    I would love to see your reply in that Chronicle. More so, I would definitely pay to see the Douche’s face when he reads this.

    I don’t know whether to feel bad for this guy or just laugh my ass off. I also wonder if some women fall for this crap!

    Anyhooo,

    Awesome Bitch Slap you Rockin’ Redhead! I can now go to sleep smiling.

    Reply
  37. Pink lady
    Pink lady says:

    WOW…. I’m a female who, at one time dated Greg. I have to say in his defense that some of the advise he offers would be of much help to MANY men. I can only speak from my own experiance, but the “game” he had worked. I thinks he’s trying to help some men build a little confidence. I have refered several of my single male friends to him as well as to fallow his colum. To this day I consider him a friend and a great person. He has a lot to offer in many areas. As for all your bitch slapping……YIPPY for you, maybe you can relax now and take your tampon out now that you”BITCH SLAPPED” someone…….I think you should take the advise of another comment on here and ignore him if you don’t like him.

    Reply
    • The Redhead
      The Redhead says:

      Finally – someone who supports Mr. Hollenback. For the record, I’m not currently menstruating and have no difficulties with tampon use. Also, a trick for new blog commenters is to craft comment in an email program or MS Word and use spell check so that the quality of your comments isn’t undermined by spelling errors.

      If Mr. Hollenback’s advice is so well-received, his audience would be much larger, his columns better-written and he’d be in a publication a bit more wide-reaching than the Glendale Cherry Creek Chronicle. Bully for YOU for considering him a friend and having referred men to him for dating advice. All I can do is shrug.

      Not everyone who comes across my column is going to like it, and it’s clear you don’t. I appreciate you stopping by to share your thoughts, however. Perhaps you can talk some sense into your friend and let him know that there’s a very vociferous population that doesn’t find him amusing not remotely informative, comprised of both males AND females. I think we’re at 120+ comments and counting, not even including what’s already on Facebook. Clearly, this isn’t solely MY opinion.

      Reply
      • The Redhead
        The Redhead says:

        Okay, all: I’m going to chime in and say that unless you’re in the UK, it’s “advice” (not “advise”) on this side of the pond. And Keith – Napoleon Dynamite had more common sense than this guy does.

        Reply
    • The Redhead
      The Redhead says:

      Oh, and by the way: your email address is invalid. See, I use this handy tool to verify email address validity when in question. Your IP address is Denver. Your email address? Invalid. Yahoo says you don’t exist. Frankly, I’m not surprised.

      If you’d like to leave future comments, I do require a valid email address as part of my Comments Policy. And I also forgot to mention – proper use of an ellipses (…) is three periods in succession, not five or six. And as I indicated before, “advice,” with the meaning “to give counsel,” is spelled with a c. “Advise” means “to inform.” Different word entirely.

      I’ll be on the lookout for that valid email address!

      Reply
  38. Paddy O'Furniture
    Paddy O'Furniture says:

    While this guy is clearly the Governor of Douchechusetts, there are a couple points that I agree with, albeit very few. For me, I’ve had much more success dating when I’ve kept it casual. I would prefer not to call it a date even if it is. Perhaps it is just a formality, but I think that a “date” puts a lot of pressure on people and often leads to people on their best behavior and not being themselves. I am not saying there aren’t people out there who can be themselves on dates, but it has been rare in my experience.

    I’ve had much more success in romantic relationships that grew out of friendship, but that is just for me personally. I know I’m the exception rather than the rule.

    The other point he made that I agree with is that people tend to be more interested if you act a bit aloof. I think it is a ridiculous notion to play mind games, but I’ve seen it work too often to know not call bullshit on it. It’s not something I could engage in, because I’m way too easy to read and would be called on it instantly.

    Great rebuttal though, guys like this do make the rest of us look bad.

    Reply
    • The Redhead
      The Redhead says:

      Paddy – see, I can’t discount some of the decent, plain advice he offers, either. Except for it being drowned-out by the amber waves of doucheitude, thus rendering it about as useful as a cry from Sarah Palin asking a child to look both ways before crossing the street.

      And I’m going to have to put you up there with Jason today who coined “Douche-a-saurus Rex” for the Governor of Douchechusetts. #golfclap

      Reply
      • Paddy O'Furniture
        Paddy O'Furniture says:

        I agree he loses all credibility with the sheer amount of misogyny in the article. He is trying to be like Tom Leykis, and while that behavior might work on some women. It is a deplorable way to act, and it will help create any meaningful long-term relationships.

        I would be curious to see your take on the whole Nice Guy -vs- Dangerous Guy thing. Is it possible for a guy to be a really nice guy, yet have that edge that a lot of women seem drawn to? I know many times guys who complain that they are nice guys who can’t seem to have any success with women really lack self-confidence, and that is conveyed through their body language and the way they speak.

        Reply
        • The Redhead
          The Redhead says:

          It’s interesting – I think everyone has their own definition of Nice Guy/ Dangerous Guy. For me? It’s Funny Guy that’s my Achilles Heel. Make me laugh, my heart is yours to lose. I do, however, think there is a difference between confidence and cocky, self-confident and stuck-up, and intriguing and “bad.” They’re all easy to confuse, which is why developing a relationship is the only way to figure out if those things are one or the other. 🙂

          Ugh – Tom Leykis. Thanks for bringing back THAT twitch in my eye. EPIC dbag, but ya gotta admit – he found an audience.

          Reply
          • Paddy O'Furniture
            Paddy O'Furniture says:

            I agree with you on the funny thing. That has been the thing that has led to the majority of my dating success. I generally ask a lot of question in the early stages to see what kind of sense of humor they have because I think be able to laugh together is one of the key components to long term relationship success.

        • Taylor Lindstrom
          Taylor Lindstrom says:

          When we say “nice guy” we’re generally saying it because we can’t think of any other good adjective. So Erica’s funny guy is probably ALSO nice, but we wouldn’t call him a nice guy. We’d call him a funny guy. If we met a mysterious handsome stranger who was nice, we wouldn’t call him nice. We’d call him mysterious and handsome. Und so weiter.

          So yes, nice guys finish after the dangerous guys if “nice” is all they have to recommend them. “Nice” is basically saying bland. Nothing offensive about that guy. Nothing bad. But nothing good, either. If there were something good about him, we’d be using much more engaging adjectives than “nice.”

          Dangerous Guy generally gets the ladies because he’s confident, not specifically because he’s dangerous. He seems like he knows what’s up, and everyone’s attracted to a person who seems to have it all together, men and women alike. If he were JUST dangerous – like, say, he was actively chainsaw-murdering folks in the bar – that dude isn’t appealing either.

          So basically, when we say “nice guy” and “dangerous guy”, that doesn’t describe the half of what we are or are not attracted to in them. Which is misleading, I grant you, but I’m sure being misleading is one of those womanish qualities bemoaned by our Gov. of Douchechusetts. No wonder he’s such an ass.

          Reply
  39. The Redhead
    The Redhead says:

    Funny – after a full day of Mr. Hollenback taking up residence in the proverbial woodshed along with 4 comments left by readers (none too favorable, either) on his own blog, you think he’d stop by and weigh in with his thoughts.

    I’m sure it might be hard to get around town with balls his size, however. But alas, it appears we’ll have to wait for both his AND the Glendale Cherry Creek Chronicle’s response to the matter.

    Carry on smartly, monkays. I appreciate your collective readership, dissenting opinions, kindred spirits and…well, just you being monkays 🙂

    Reply
  40. Ellachanted
    Ellachanted says:

    Okay I remember my younger cute but nice brother complaining when he was in college that the girls only wanted to date the guys that were mean to them. Of course they all wanted him as a friend. I also remember when I was in my early twenties, my friends and I just wanted to drink and have fun.

    But then I grew up and turned 26.

    So my question is….Just how young are these girls this d-bag is trying to date.

    Reply
  41. James
    James says:

    Stumbled across your blog and love it. Your straightforwardness is very refreshing.
    I was pretty interesting to read this post and all the comments as well. Allot of web sites for men offer very similar advice on dating to what D-bag had to say.
    Recently having moved out of a long term relationship myself due to work relocation, I have given a bit of thought about starting dating again, once work settles down. Frankly I haven’t due to most of what I have read in the form of ‘advice’ from such sites and hearing about all the games that are played.
    Have you seen any sites out there that give decent advice? From the last articles I read at sites like askmen it seems being a d-bag is a pretty common trend…

    Thanks for another great post, keep it up.

    Reply
  42. Vamika xD
    Vamika xD says:

    I just recently came across your blog and (thanks to nothing-much-to-do-today) have read most of the posts.
    Hail Redhead… Your Writing is kick-ass Love!

    P.S.: Bitch-slap probably is going to be my forever-favourite column 🙂

    Reply
  43. The Redhead
    The Redhead says:

    Great question. Why don’t you try asking friends for advice? A mix of men and women, married, in relationships and single/dating. I find that my friends are the best source for information I have and there’s not advice column that could even compare 🙂

    Glad you’re here – welcome to the Dark Side 😉

    Reply
  44. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    A well deserved bitch-slap. I’ve finally figured it out…I am single because alcohol is not one of my current hobbies. And I love Hubbit’s comment below.

    Reply
  45. Marian Schembari
    Marian Schembari says:

    Again, I fall in love with you. Can’t add anything even remotely useful or clever because you’ve said it all. So sooooo happy you posted this, I couldn’t agree with you more.

    Out of curiousity I checked out Sir Douchebag on Twitter and nearly fell off my chair laughing when I saw this tweet: “Busy day as usual reaching hundreds of thousands of people doing the whole radio and print thing. Noticed a bit of Internet activity today.” When was said internet activity? The day after this post.

    FUCK YEAH.

    Reply
  46. Allyvette
    Allyvette says:

    Hey Redhead,

    Lighten-Up, dont take everything so seriously. As a woman myself I can find humor in this artical. I dont think in any way this artical was ment to demean women or make them inferiour to men. I took it as looking at the differences between men and women (which when we look at it there are many, which is a good thing, not bad) Putting fun in dating is a good thing, meeting new people can be very overwhelming and uncomfortable. There is nothing worng with being a strong and independent woman, as ther is nothing wrong with a man treating you like a flower. You should feel privalaged that a man would want to take care of you and protect you even with your independence. Sounds to me like you need to have a little fun yourself, slow your roll and let a man treat you like a lady. Then maybe you wont be so bitter and resentful.

    Sure hope this rediculas nonsense get you more readers. Riding on someone elses fame to try and get ahead dosnt sound like the strong independent lady you make yourself out to be. Get a reality check chick!!!!!!!!! PRETTY SAD… Heres what you need http://www.liveperson.com/lp/online-counseling/counseling-services/?BanID=115498&OVRAW=relationship%20counselors&OVKEY=relationship%20counselor&OVMTC=standard&OVADID=32807118021&OVKWID=271585781521&OVCAMPGID=6268922521&OVADGRPID=13568089909&OVNDID=ND1 maybe talking to someone can help you to balance independence and feminity.

    Feeling so sorry for you and your followers,
    allyvette

    Reply
  47. The Redhead
    The Redhead says:

    Dear “Allyvette”~

    1) Your email address is fake.
    2) Sure – I’ll bite.
    4) Artical = article, privalaged = privileged, rediculas = ridiculous

    I revel in the differences between men and women and have a TON of fun dating. Meeting new people and developing some of the most incredible friendships of my life is an inherent gift of the dating process. No, I don’t feel “privalaged” that a man would want to act as a partner – if you want to be treated as a flower destined for pollination, go ahead. And “even with my independence?” Independence isn’t a plague. It means that those of us who don’t rely on men for pollination purposes are able to have rich and fulfilling lives and our strength is seen as an asset, not a detriment as you would see it with your “even with” qualifier.

    There’s nothing bitter or resentful about me – my readers, friends and “followers” will attest. And I’ll stop you right here on the (let me get this phrasing correct) “riding on someone elses fame to try and get ahead.” For the record, “elses” isn’t a word (should be else’s) and I can only assume that you’re Hollenback or Wrege if you have the audacity to refer to their “fame.” Poor Hollenback – my post about him didn’t even rank as well as one I’d done a few weeks back in the same column series.

    The shame of it all is you think I need him.. Oh, honey. No, I don’t. And if you were such a fan of his, you wouldn’t feel the need to come onto my blog with a fake email address. At least Don Wrege had the balls to use a fake email address AND a real website. Props to him there.

    And don’t waste your time feeling sorry for me. I’m just sad Hollenback hasn’t found enough true advocates to stop by and log voices of support with real contact credentials.

    Farewell, fake commenter. Make sure you use a new IP address next time!

    Erika – the gal who loves writing real blog comment responses to imaginary people

    Reply
  48. VegasWill
    VegasWill says:

    Dating is like driving- everyone thinks their way is the right way, and we’re all on the same roads so we have to interact.

    When you’re back in Vegas, I promise not to ask you “Let’s go grab a happy hour and have some laughs”. I’ll just say “Let’s get silly”.

    Erika, I love your column and for your own sanity… never argue with fools… they won’t know when you’ve won.

    Reply
    • The Redhead
      The Redhead says:

      Yeah, see? I don’t argue. I like productive conversations, but these guys really make it hard to have one. That’s why I believe in line-by-line itemizations like this. So there IS no confusion. Organized.

      And regarding silly? I’m in.

      Reply
  49. Rick Ramos
    Rick Ramos says:

    I’m not going to lie and say I was offended by these men’s comments. I am however shocked and embarrassed that Mr. Hollenback and Glendale Cherry Creek Chronicle was brazen enough to publish such a clearly offensive piece of content. The words that were said aren’t really anything that you wouldn’t hear in a men’s dorm or locker room at any given time, the fact that the Chronicle published them blows my mind.

    “Remember, women are wired to be dysfunctional by nature . . .”
    “Remember, blacks are wired to be dysfunctional by nature . . .”
    “Remember, gays are wired to be dysfunctional by nature . . .”

    Talking shit and telling jokes in private, or out drinking with the boys is one thing. For a public paper to publish such nakedly bigoted rhetoric is something else altogether. Are there no women editors at the Chronicle? Is this article an example of what Glendale Cherry Creek Chronicle editors feel is appropriate for the residents and families that live in the area?

    Reply
  50. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    Sorry, I’m late to this one…

    “If alcohol becomes a pastime, that’s called being an alcoholic.”

    There are quite a few people at beeradvocate.com who would vehemently disagree with that statement. (Have to represent my beer-lovin’ Boston peeps.)

    Reply
    • The Redhead
      The Redhead says:

      Matt – I’m sure you’ll agree that the context in which the post by Mr. Hollenback was written was NOT indicating those who enjoy the homebrewing or brewmaster crowd. 😉 I, too, have many friends in the microbrew craft. It doesn’t mean they represent it as a “pastime.” More of a craft, I’d say?

      Reply
      • Anonymous
        Anonymous says:

        Well, yes; I do agree that the phrase wouldn’t apply to homebrewers or microbrewers. But beeradvocate.com is a place for beer lovers, irrespective of craft. I work at an advertising agency, and I consider drinking beer — good, high-quality beer — a pastime. But I’m certainly not an alcoholic. I’m sure Gary V. considers drinking wine a pastime (that is, when he’s not doing it as part of his job), and I doubt that he considers any of his community of wine-lovers to be alcoholics.

        Eh, semantics. Great post!

        Reply
  51. Guest
    Guest says:

    I just happened to come across this article because I was online looking at my POF.com account and it said that Greg was one of my matches. ( Only he would put his full name in one of his pictures right off the bat ) Which leads me to believe you only have to be breathing to be matched up with anyone on that site because we are nothing alike. AND his POF profile is as obnoxious as this article. I am insulted to even be in the same dating pool as this man.

    Reply
  52. Charles Bivona
    Charles Bivona says:

    First of all, Holy Walt Whitman, Batman! -> “Maybe this is true in the middle of Skankville where you apparently go trolling for your strange, but not among the smart and sexy women I know…” Nice iambs! =-)

    Reply
  53. Charles Bivona
    Charles Bivona says:

    Second, check out the dudes who claim they can use the rhythm of their words to hypnotize women into bed. They call it Neurolinguistic Programming or NLP. You could probably find enough with a simple YouTube search to write a bitch slap book. Suggested Title: “Look Into My Douchie Eyes: you are getting horny? Hardly.” by YOU. As always, I apologize for the state of my gender. Good night.

    Reply
  54. BAY-KON
    BAY-KON says:

    Honestly advice like this strikes me as being the nerd boy’s guide to getting revenge on female kind for all those years they rejected you as in high school and Mr. Hollenback leads they way, showing you step by step how to finally reverse the roles and get you revenge on all those horrible girls who wronged you. I can just see hundreds of house bound undersexed twenty somethings gleefully cackling like some sort of Scooby Doo super villian at the thought of having women by the dozens flock to them and battle for their attention only to be discarded like a used tissue solely because as an irresistible out on the prowl sex panther of machismo you can do that.

    In my opinions if you’re truly a “ladies man” you wouldn’t even have to try to come up with all these strategies and techniques to date women. Rather meeting, and dating women should be quite effortless. Frankly all these tips and advice guys like Hollenback bestow upon those socially inept enough to fall for his nonsense comes off as manual on how to B.S women and attempt to manipulate them instead of worthwhile advice on how to successfully date the opposite sex,

    Hollenback was on the radio today as I’m typing this and it was the first time i had the displeasure of hearing this cumquat babble. I Immediately googled him to see what this charming lady killer looked like and found this blog and laughed hysterically at your brilliant analysis of his pearls of wisdom.

    Reply
  55. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    Agree that this guy’s “pollen” needs to be kept out of the human gene pool.

    But while his wording may exhibit all the telltale signs of douchebaggery, there is a lot of commentary out there on the ‘net that more or less reflects a similar mind-set.

    Query: Do douchebags simply copy each other, or is it remotely possible that many of them reached the same set of conclusions independently?

    Reply
  56. ICindyLou
    ICindyLou says:

    Oh my gosh – I was looking this d bag up after some rude interaction on FB (regarding his and Peter Boyles encounter) and this came up! The guy is a narcissistic jack ass that will never get it. I wish Boyles would have punched him rather than just pull his lanyard.

    Reply
  57. stevekerver
    stevekerver says:

    …I knew Greg personally long ago.
    He was a fucking douchebag then, and he’s a fucking tubby douchebag now; I only wish Peter Boyles *had* actually punched him in the face, and then shit in that same mouth Greg has always used to talk out of both sides on.

    Reply

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