The Bitch Slap: Kick Mediocrity in the ‘Nads

Image via Anderson Cooper at Creative Commons

No settling…Wind-up and let it fly.

Sit down.

No, I’m not going to kick you in the nuts, though it might feel that way in a second.

What the hell are you doing?

It’s a new year and you’re sitting there dicking around with the same shit that didn’t work last year. People, relationships, business “strategies,” bullshit MLM schemes, cat litter that doesn’t “trap odor” worth a fuck…

Life is fleeting, so why are you giving Mediocrity the reacharound? Mediocrity is anything but fondle-worthy. It’s a prick little kid in the school yard that stole your kickass superhero lunchbox with stickers all over it. It’s the twat cheerleader who pointed and laughed because your shoes weren’t Keds. Mediocrity is a thief of your time, self-esteem, energy and inherent value.

Look around you – I’ll bet that there isn’t a single one of you who hasn’t lost someone or known someone who’s lost someone in the past year. That life is gone, left to be lived through the hearts and minds of friends, family and loved ones. They have no tomorrow. They don’t even have a today. So why are YOU fucking off with the one life you have?

Mediocrity is a give-up. It’s like telling yourself and everyone around you that you’re fine with being a sloth and you’ve got another life hanging in your closet to live when this one has a few holes in it. Seriously? I want to go through your closet, because for all the shoes and shit I’ve got lined-up in there by color, size and style (a little OCD), I’m pretty bleeping confident that if I get hit by a bus, I’m am straight-shit out of luck. End of story, no more adventures and there’s a world out there that won’t have me clawing at it in an effort to get everything I can before my big bus comes along.

It’s January 2010, prime go-time for winding-up a leg and giving mediocrity a swift kick to the nads. It’s not even unkind – it’s the smartest, most compassionate thing you can do for yourself and anyone in your life.

There are three reasons in life to dos something (and three reasons only):

  • Because you aspire to be the best you can possibly be
  • Because you love how you feel when you do it
  • Because the people you love need what you have to give

None of that can be achieved when you’ve got one (or both) of your hands down Mediocrity’s pants.

Wouldn’t it be a beautiful place in life to be if all three of those things ruled your day-to-day? The next time you enter a room, look around at the people in it. How many are going through the motions and doing the minimum to get from dawn to dusk? Are YOU one of those people?

I owe this post to Margo Talbot, a shining light in any room she enters. I had a few minutes to sit down with her last weekend, and she’s the inspiration for telling all of you to kick Mediocrity in the nuts. It’s a gift to be in the presence of someone who doesn’t tolerate and lives each day as an adventure, the expedition of their dreams and surrounds themselves with only those who are committed to the same path. I’ve taken inventory – I’m doing some shedding. It’s incredible to see how much brighter the sunlight becomes when you get the shit out of your eyes.

Take inventory. Wind-up a leg. Get to kickin’. Imagine what you can make room for in your life when mediocrity (which no longer deserves a capital “M”) is writhing on the ground like the punk bitch it is. And if you happen to see Kumbayah, kcik it in the ‘nads, too. I fucking hate Kumbayah.

Mariano Franco
Mariano Franco

I'm a tab whore. This article has been in my tab tray since the day you posted it and now I've finally got around to reading it and boy am I happy that I have. And it's weird how this post directly coincides with a program I was listening to this morning called "Conversational Magic" by the NLP Ninja, Robert Dilts. The program's sole focus is centered on how language used elegantly, has the power to allow people to get the fuck out of their own way. We all have conversations everyday, even if the only ones we have are the ones inside our own head. Actually, those are the most important ones of all. While posts like this and speeches by the likes of Dr. Martin Luther King or Tony Robbins can move us to action, relying on or waiting for someone else to inspire us to action is something the mediocre do. And yet, our identity, our personalities, our persona are nothing more than a patchwork quilt of all the people we've spent the most time with, our own personal experiences, and the meanings we attach to everything that's happened to us in our lives. It's said that we're the sum total of the 5 people we spend the majority of our time with. The conversations these people have with themselves affects the conversations they have with you which in turn affects your behavior. Is the effect positive or negative? And the question this begs is "Are you affecting people you hang with in a negative or positive manner due to the conversations you have with yourself?" The Greatest Reason To Root Mediocrity Out Of Your Life: To horribly paraphrase Einstein here, "The same level of thinking that created a problem, can't be used to solve it." If mediocrity rules your conversations with yourself and the five people you surround yourself with most, you create a prison of your own making. And in the same light, when you focus on hanging out with people who consciously use language to transform what happens, and what has happened, into something resourceful, you almost can't help but be positively affected by the doors that get opened for you. Erika, I'm sure the top 5 in your universe are benefiting from the energy you bring to those relationships. And while we don't know each other, I'm grateful for knowing this is a place I can come to take a hit off the "Extraordinary" joint. A place where the conversation reminds me to stay the fuck out of my own way so that I don't get in the way of my top 5. Thanks again girly.


Thank you for making me think 20 minutes before I head to a job interview that will inevitably be a mediocre addition to my mediocre life. Time to rethink this…..

Hillary Nitschke
Hillary Nitschke

I have good- albeit sappy- kumbaya memories, but THANKS anyway, Erika!

Hillary Nitschke
Hillary Nitschke

I have good- albeit sappy- kumbaya memories, but THANKS anyway, Erika!


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