There’s no argument – I snuggle-up and get real intimate with what might consider to be “adult language” on both my blog and Facebook page. I will never back down from my assertion that the word “fuck” is the most useful word in the English language.
For the past few weeks, however, I’ve gotten a flood (a metric fuckton, if you will) of emails, Facebook messages, and wall posts from readers informing me of the following:
And this one:
And perhaps my favorite (surely it’s obvious why):
So today (since we’re so SIMILAR), I’d like to take the opportunity to say hello to Miss Camille Crimson, an adult entertainer out of Canadaland.
Everyone, say hello to Miss Camille!
Now, Camille’s a pretty hot sandwich and I’m flattered that Facebook thinks were similar.
After all, we are both redheads.
We both have freckles (giggle).
Might I also say that we both respectively have a nice set of boobs?
And we’re both adult industry professionals.
I suppose it really comes (heh – I’m twelve) down to what you define as “adult.”
I mean, I have no doubt Camille’s making a damn fine living (her Facebook page is VERY active). I’m just a columnist for Entrepreneur Magazine, American Express OPEN Forum, and the author of a couple of books. Then there was that TEDx talk a year ago that some folks liked. Some.
Camille seems to have cornered the market on “the art of the blowjob.” Me? I just have no tolerance for the folks who think fucking around is more important than getting shit done. Who knew Facebook’s algorithms were able to make such advanced connections?
So, aside from the glaring similarities that Camille and I share — today, I’m having some fun at Facebook’s expense.
Ya see, this type of “similar to” pairing could happen to your company’s Facebook page as it has mine. If there’s a single word (and I’m betting mine is “redhead”) in your page name that could be targeted by a business or persona that you aren’t particularly keen on being associated with, your audience could see the likes of the lovely Miss Camille Crimson on your “similar to” references on a calendar date coming soon.
Why does this happen? Well, I’ll bet it’s because Miss Crimson is running a Facebook ad campaign targeting certain keywords and interests. And in the Facebook Ad Targeting Tool, she can target me (because my Redhead Writing page comes up in the search box) but I can’t target her page (because hers doesn’t – DAMMIT). How do I know? Because of course, I tried:
It’s also flattering that she likes the Redhead Writing page. (See my update at the bottom of the post about the Facebook ads vs. Facebook’s algorithms…)
So! Back to the fun of it. There’s a ballsy redheaded maven out there targeting my Facebook fans. She’s gorgeous and probably knows WAY more about blow jobs than I ever will. I thought I’d drop by and say hello to her, introduce my audience to her…
And have some fun.
First of all — well played, Miss Crimson. Well played. Your ads are doing the trick. And as a side note, I fully support Miss Crimson’s career choice. I’ll bet that in many circles our brands are equally unpopular. Fuck those people.
As of this morning, I’ve transformed my Facebook page into my version of redheaded porn (which I assure you is more comical than anything). I’m also including a gallery of pictures here that didn’t make the final cut (they will also be on the Facebook page once I hit publish here). I’d like to thank my friend Erin for coming over to my house ON HER BIRTHDAY to take semi-naked pictures of me.
The bottom line is — if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. And have fun doing it.
Quick update (8:55am MT): Camille (a very lovely lady) contacted me and said she’s NOT running Facebook ads. So yeah — this is all the work of Facebook’s awesome algorithms. They’re drunk. How awesome is that?!
@FrankieMozell Pretty hard to offend me ;)
@changememe The dog is the real star here, no doubt :)
@jatman I'm here to entertain and inform :)
Yeah... Well, Your pictures are nice, but you look a bit shy and I'm afraid that your porn campaign might lose some credibility. Aside from that, you have to "fight fire with.fire..."
LOL! Looks like your little dog is having kind of a WTF moment. The big one is like: whatever, Erika...
Just woke up over here and it made me start the day with a good laugh!!! Thanks for that.
P.S. Didn't check her out, but I am sure that Camille can't rock the tits AND the tats like you can.
@RollUpUrWindows The dog is the star of the show here. Let's be honest...
@JayWorling Thanks, Jay :)
@keithprivette Thanks, Keith :)
Hah! After enjoying the role of "centerfold" on your awesome website for the past 8 days, I was dreading the day I'd be knocked off the pedestal. Until I saw THIS. Good God Almighty--this made my Friday (almost as much as when you...<--cuz I'm 13).
Love that Camille has a sense of humor to go along with her formidable assets. Makes me want to like her page for the fuck of it. All kidding aside, you have lovely symmetrical features. And to all the pervs who read into that one, the features between one's ears.
And Happy belated Birthday, Erin!
I swear that until I dug deeper I actually thought you were doing these pics for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Being October and all. So at first glance I was all "Brave and good on her." On second glance I am all; "Brave and hilarious response." Either way this took guts. Love ya babe!
@JayFowler Thanks as always, Jay!
The world needs more awesome, and by god, you are definitely delivering today! Also? I now passionately craze a necklace that says "Fuck". Because of reasons. >.>
The second to last photo is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Well played, @Erika Napoletano. And kudos to Camille for reaching out. Maybe you each made a new friend! lol
Sidenote: The second to last pic KILLED me.
@AmyVernon Penelope definitely stole the show on this one, didn't she? :)
The power of titillation. I had a ton of fun with this one E and feel the sudden urge to take up smoking.
@FeldmanCreative Keep it to less than a pack a day ;)
As my favorite marketing- guru/ bluestocking/ fanfuckintastic Demigod I salute you!!!! Ok, ok, ok, too much? I enjoy reading your "outlooks" and I LOVE and appreciate how you MASH words and ideas together to make a FUCKING delicious might as well be chocolate cake of reality and Bullshit repellant, I know too much........I appreciate your foot steps,(that's my more Gandhi approach) ! Love , Peace and Chicken Grease! =D
@greeneturtleman Thankya thankya ;)
@ErinWeed SHE IS SUCH A WHORE!
A great post Erika :) If anyone is so prudish as to unsubscribe for this, they shouldn't have been on your list in the first place. You rock!
@svehex Amen :)
Wow - this makes becoming a porn star kinda easy - I love your digital manipulation AND your au natural photos. And since my nom de blog is Bitch'in Suburbia, allow me to say... lesson learned! Thanks for the tips! (That's what she said... (Also can't wait for my porn star turn, too.)
@bitchinsuburbia I full recommend a 20-minute boudoir photo shoot. All you need is a friend, a sheet, and a camera!
This just in from Orange County: Metallics are in! Sure, they were talking about nails, but you're a fucking redhead. YOU have metallic built in. Holy shit, that's awesome.
@Ephraim Mallery, Modern Hedonist Thank you, good sir :)
You are gorgeous. Facebook is bizarre. Love the picture with the tongue. There needs to be more silly, always more silly.
@EdmundCharlesDavis-Quinn That made me think of "needs more cowbell"
@KRISZTA Holler! :)
Well, this certainly clears things up for me. Never dawned on me you two were different people. (Is there a 'members only' section of your site now? Asking for a friend).
@Note_to_CMO I'll send you a password.
@EABotanicals Why, thankya :)
@Brandy Anderson Wish I could have run that ad... (sigh)
Don't stop being fucking amazing Erika!!! Your posts never fail to make my day brighter and funnier. Thank you!
@Jennifer Kent That's all I ask -- is that I make your day brighter :)
@ScarletRegina Penelope IS beautiful.
I am smiling and wishing I could have assisted you with your photo session. (And yes, I've often said that Facebook IS drunk.)
The "art" of the blowjob? - I'm looking for the "science" of the blowjob - because reproducibility is EVERYTHING!
@RexStrother well played.