Things that Don’t Suck: Roast Greetings and Dirty Chai

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted a “Things that Don’t Suck” entry – so here’s two completely unrelated items for your noggins to ponder.

Roast GreetingsRoast Greetings
Hallmark makes me want to hurl, so I’m always looking for cool greeting cards that let me say that I care in my own special little way. I happened to stumble across Roast Greetings earlier this year and find myself logging in just to see what kind of fucked-upedness they’ve conjured as of late.

Seriously – why can’t they make cards that say what people really think? Hallmark is the kumbaya for the crowd whose never had to wait in line to pee at a club because there were three people snorting coke in the one stall that actually had a door. Roast Greetings bucks convention and busts down the stall door, letting the general public not only celebrate important events, but do so with a requisite amount of irreverence.

For example:

This online dating GEM

Calling it like you see it


and Congratulations!

For $3.25, you can reach out and tell someone you…well, whatever the hell you want. It’s less than a box of condoms and they even let you celebrate the little victories in life, like getting laid. And if you want to score a FREE card, just visit their home page and sign up for their VIP list. No spammy-spam: they promise no more than one email per month. And if you like what they do, follow Roast Greetings on Twitter.

***please note that The Redhead doesn’t accept schwag or other remuneration for talking about shit she likes.

Dirty Chai

dirty, filthy, goodnessI shouldn’t drink coffee so I consume mass quantities of hot tea and chai lattes. Aside from the financial burden my habit incurs, I’ve been pretty pleased with my avoidance of caffeine until introduced to the dirty chai.

WTF is a dirty chai?

It’s a chai tea latte with a shot of espresso.

Introduced to the concept by @datingdad on Twitter, I’d been wanting to try one for months. Admittedly, it was mostly out of curiosity and needing to understand the “dirty” part of a chai latte as the thought of a dirty martini makes me want to yak. He minces no words when speaking of his affinity for said drinks and photos of dirty chais from Denver to Seattle populate his photostream. So I said FINE, I’ll fucking try one.

Click here for my reaction to my first dirty chai, partaken at St. Mark’s Coffee House in Denver this past weekend.

A spicy, naughty beverage sure to make your toes tingle, I’m giving the dirty chai two VERY enthusiastic #nomnoms up. I’m going nonfat with one packet of stevia in mine, spicy FTW. I’ve found that some places will let you order them “sweet” versus “spicy” but I personally think that the spice is what makes it. Well, the spice and the double espresso bomb I’m having added to mine. Beware: addictive as they are, they’re not a budget line item for the faint of heart. Allocate $3.50 to $4.00 per beverage bomb.

E. Foley | Geek's Dream Girl
E. Foley | Geek's Dream Girl

I LOVE the online dating card. Hahahahhahaha! I could probably think of 85 more ideas for them for online dating themed cards. I'm torn on Chai... I love the SMELL of chai but hate the taste. Go figure. Perhaps I will convince someone else to order a dirty chai so I can steal a sip. For science!


Sounds excellent! There's another drink I heard about that I want to try too, I think it's called a Polar Bear at Peaberry Coffee; a diet coke with a shot of espresso. Yum.