Rolling slowly into a holiday weekend – that’s what we do, isn’t it? If it’s not a frenetic attempt to get out the door, it’s sitting at one’s desk just watching the hours tick by until the Zero Hour – when we can escape.
At this time last year, I had little to be thankful for save my family and friends. While they are the ones that always matter above and beyond all, Jason had just died less than a month prior and I was walking around in some zombie-ish haze. Trust me – being devoured by something in the “undead” category would have been welcome.
Yet this year, I’m sitting on my sofa, blinds open and sunlight pouring in, having been greeted this morning by a rainbow sherbet-flavored sky and Puppy Kisses. Not as good as People Kisses, but I’m working on that part of my life. I’m plotting a vacation, which would be fucking grand since I haven’t abandoned the country since 2008, and looking forward to a day tomorrow filled with friends, food, and the laughter that accompanies all.
Which is Where I Should Probably Tell You…
About the whole pregnancy thing. Well, I announced yesterday (first) that I was carrying Justin Bieber’s love child. I then revised that (in a second iteration) to announce that the baby was not, in fact, Justin’s, but rather Clive Owen’s. This was met with much more widespread approval (not that I have to clear with any of you whom I fuck). And this has nothing to do with me fucking anyone. It’s pretty much just linkbait to get you to (1) open this email/click through from Facebook and Twitter, so that (2) we can talk about what’s important. I’m a bitch like that. Sneaaaaaaaaaaaaky in a non-unfavorable female Republican Presidential candiate kind of way. So let’s talk about This Life and the three ways we can go about things: running cold, lukewarm, and fucking ON FIRE.
Running Cold Isn’t Even Worth the H-tag
Fuck running cold. Fuck it like anyone who would fuck Justin Biber in the first place. Running cold is nowhere to be and you know it. You’ve been there. And if you’re there right now, WHY? Those days where your life runs you, your friends are distant memories, and everything that comes out of your mouth is prefaced by, “I hate” or “I hope.” Quit hating and hoping. Neither of them get anything done. EVER.
It’s the Meh of life. Do you really and truly want to look at either yourself or anyone in your life and think, “Meh”? Holy purple turtle shit, Batman – lukewarm is, in my opinion, even worse than running cold. (And credit where credit is due, “lukewarm” came from a conversation I had on a date this week – not about the date itself, which was quite lovely. And yes, I go out on dates. Sometimes. And sometimes I don’t even write blogs about them.) But I digress.
Being in a lukewarm place robs of you of power. There’s nothing to grab onto and infuse with your passion…for anything. It’s a place where we wait for the Next Thing to come along and no one involved in the situation is invested in anything. And lukewarm? Well, it gets cold. And fast. So quit putting yourself into a place where you start things in a half-assed fashion. Where you stay in things that rob you of your Ossum (which is like a possum but more awesome). You’re the only one who can sign-up for living in a lukewarm place. And life is entirely too short for you to do anything without being ON FIRE.
BURN MOTHERFUCKER, BURN
I’m not the only one who thinks being ON FIRE is a great place to be. FAKE GRIMLOCK and Brad Feld are fans of living in the hot place. Every entrepreneur I know understands and hunts down the opportunity to singe their eyebrows in the flames of ON FIRE. So why, for all that is holy, aren’t you living ON FIRE?
If this guy can sing
If this kid can play basketball
What is your excuse for not living ON FIRE?
We’re walking into a holiday weekend that can be more about a big ass bird than the people you’re sharing it with. So here are some ways, if you’re not already doing it, to start living ON FIRE this weekend:
- HOLY FUCKING SHIT – UNPLUG. The iPad, the iPhone, the iPhoto – how about iWON’TTURNTHISON? Plug into the people who will make your day. People make memories. Gadgets can’t.
- Get Rid of the Meh. Hate to cook? Order your Thanksgiving dinner. Hate/are indifferent about your boyfriend or girlfriend? Ditch ’em. Surround yourself with people who are ON FIRE. Flames are contagious (and it’s cold outside – get warm and stay warm.) Skip the Lukewarm.
- GIVE. When you’re at the store today, grab a bag of fruit and some pre-made deli sandwiches. Drive down a street where all of those people who have it far worse than you are standing with their “tacky” cardboard signs. Give them a sandwich, a piece of fruit, and a $5 bill. Wish them well. Go to a local shelter and drop off a bag of canned goods. Buy a bunch of $5 McDonald’s gift cards and hand them out. And give even if it hurts. Because THAT’S how it feels to live ON FIRE.
- Cry. Once. Crying isn’t bad and contrary to urban legend, it won’t shrivel a man’s balls. Whatever prompts it, let the tears roll. Tears of joy are one of life’s greatest gifts and feel better than the best orgasm (yeah, I said it), unwrapping the most expensive new toy, or ones cried when Loss decides to move in and set up a pup tent in the living room of your life. The best part? No one has to see it. Pop in a movie. Think about potential instead of the Will Never Haves and the Had It/Lost Its. I especially like the crying when it comes with a hug and a smile and shared with someone who won’t make you feel like an ass for crying. (Pro Tip: If you end up crying with or on someone who makes you feel like an ass for doing so, resist the urge to snot on their shirt. Instead, give ’em a titty twister. THAT, my friends, is definitely an ON FIRE move.)
- Forgive Yourself. How much bullshit do you carry around with you every day? How much of other people’s bullshit and business-related bullshit do you carry? Take a minute this holiday to forgive yourself. And I know it’s not easy. But we carry a ton of stuff along with us out of burden and obligation. Stop feeling guilty about putting it down for a minute and PUT THE BAG OF BULLSHIT DOWN. See how it feels. If you really miss it so much that your life won’t be complete without picking it up again, trust me – it’ll be there waiting. We walk around life waiting for other people to offer us validation that what we’re doing is okay when the one we really need to be receiving permission and validation from is the big ol’ ME. You can’t be ON FIRE until you burn all of that bullshit you’re carrying to the ground.
And A Closing Note on People and Things
We make room in our lives for what’s (and who’s) important.
Humans: When someone won’t make time for you or is just “too busy,” that means you’re not important enough to them to be made a priority. Plain and simple. And the same goes for your decision-making process. There is no secret message. There is no hidden agenda. In fact, the agendas are quite clear. If you are too busy for someone, they are not a priority.
If you truly want to catch up with a friend, go on a date, meet with a colleague, or just go throw a football with your kids, MAKE THE TIME. When you want something badly enough, it’s amazing how many hours you find in the day.
Things: Things deserve to be our lowest priority, as they are incapable of love. Incapable of giving. When things are attached to people (like a child’s dance recital or your wife’s birthday gift), those are still HUMAN decisions. When life and business become more demanding (as happens on occasion and usually right when you’re trying to live life), that’s when we need to find the human side of those demands and make sure we’re not leaving behind the people who would still be there for us if it all burned to the ground, in a very non-ON FIRE way, tomorrow.
So yeah, there IS something growing in mah belleh, and it ain’t anyone’s love child. But it is a renewed commitment to living my life ON FIRE. How will you live today?