A tiny little love letter, from me to you

Hey, baby.

Yeah, you. How’s it going today?

I mean, aside from that questionable stain on your pants and your current state of under-caffeination. How’s it REALLY going?

I’m asking because I love you. And usually, when people ask, “How’s it going?” it’s just a nicety. I mean, we’re programmed to say, “Oh, fine! How are YOU!” deflecting a bullshit question with a bullshit response. But today, I’m really asking:

HOW’S IT GOING?

Because if your year has been anything like mine — I’ll bet it’s going pretty rough.

And for that, I am truly sorry. I’m sorry you hurt. I’m sorry you have pain. I’m sorry you are IN pain. I’m sorry the days seem dark and the night not long enough and the sunlight, scary and the light, elusive.

But for all you’re going through — I just want you to know one thing:

I believe in you.

Your YOU. The you that makes me laugh and see the other side. The side I don’t always want to see (especially when I’m wrong). The side I need to see (when I can’t see the forest for the mothafuckin trees). The side that makes me realize that there IS another side to this seemingly one-sided life.

And it’s high time I returned the favor.

So today, I want you to see the side of you that I see. The good side. The amazing size. The side that makes me laugh and holds my hair when the night ends with my head in a toilet. The side that’s there at the other end of my text message and, frankly, at the other end of this post.

Listening. Reading.

That side.

The side of you that fights. That doesn’t shut down. That says what you feel and says fuck those six people (your uncle included) when they tell you that you’re crazy for following your heart at age ___.

The side that I see even when you can’t.

Because if you could see the YOU that I see when I look at you, you’d never have a too-dark day again. Sure, there might be dark ones, but the too-dark ones would vanish like a scuff on your wall met with a Magic Eraser (and boy, are those things magical).

Today, I want you to see what I see when I look at you: MAGIC.

FIGHT.

STRENGTH.

POWER.

QUIRK.

ODD.

BRILLIANCE.

DEPTH.

WARMTH.

SOUL.

BEAUTY.

I want you to see all of this for all the times you’ve helped me see these things in myself.

And if you can, right now, take a minute.

Stop. Breathe. Close your eyes. And SEE YOURSELF.

See the person — the YOU — that I see.

And when you see him/her/them, then you can breathe out.

You can breath out all that breath you’ve been holding for the ONE THING to happen that will make you feel fulfilled and seen. All that breath you’ve been holding for that ONE THING to make you feel validated and loved.

Because that ONE THING has already happened.

YOU. You happened. And you are magic. Seen. Worthy. Important. And perfectly fucked up in the most beautiful of ways.

And I just wanted you to know — that no matter how today (or this year) is going for you — that today, you can see yourself the way that I see you.

If only for a moment.

You can breathe. Breathe, baby. Because that one thing you’ve been waiting for — that reprieve from all the bullshit — it’s already happened.

It’s already here.

YOU happened. And that is some rad-ass, badass, no bullshit kind of magic right there.

Have a better day. A better week. A deep breath. And I’m here to catch you the next time you feel you might fall.

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