First, I could give a shit if someone in Great Britian had a baby yesterday. You know why? Because my friends Xavier and his wife Teresa welcomed a beautiful baby boy into the world yesterday. It also happened to be Xavier’s birthday.
Secondly, people can be dicks. But you don’t have to be one of them.
You know those people who, when you share an exciting moment in your life, feign enthusiasm?
The smile attaches to his face like an octopus on meth flying out of a saltwater bath. Frankly, it’d be more at home in a Batman movie on a choice villain than on the face of your (ahem) friend.
Good for you.
Yeah…good for me. Good for me for realizing that you’re…you. And you’re never going to be happy…for me.
And that’s okay. You don’t have to be.
But don’t lie to my face and say you are when the bottom dollar truth is that you give the approximation of two dime-sized shits about my life and its goings on.
People can be dicks. But that doesn’t mean you have to be one of them.
There are so many times in life when we feel obligated to say something. It’s expected. And instead of lying.
Instead of being a dick.
Maybe…you could do one of two things:
Say nothing. Sure, it’s unpopular, but you’re fucking brilliant and you deserve to have people in your life who adore your brilliance, celebrate it, and join you on your journey to become the next better version of yourself.
Ask a question. Instead of lying, why don’t you learn about what might have motivated the person sitting in front of you to make the choice they’ve made? You know — that choice you were about to feign excitement for and flick two dime-sized shits towards. Who knows — you might learn a thing or two about this person in front of you who (perhaps mistakenly) calls you “friend.” You might even find a new reason to call them a friend because you were brave enough to ask a question instead of shitty enough to belittle your relationship by being disingenuous.
That’s it. That’s all I’ve got.
Celebrate YOU. You’re worth it. And whever you’re at and whatever you’re doing — the things you’re doing to become that next better version of yourself?
Tough. Fucking. Work.
And those things are why you rock.
PS: A bonus thing — the sale of Drakkar Noir should be outlawed. Holy shit, there is no man who smells better drenched in this ass juice. Ask me how I really feel.